2

The Kash Flow

“On multiple occasions in the past year, members of his security detail had difficulty waking Patel because he was seemingly intoxicated, according to information supplied to Justice Department and White House officials. A request for ‘breaching equipment’—normally used by SWAT and hostage-rescue teams to quickly gain entry into buildings—was made last year because Patel had been unreachable behind locked doors, according to multiple people familiar with the request.” Given his reputation and lack of qualifications, it would have been almost impossible for Kash Patel to surprise us on the downside. So give him a little credit. The Atlantic (Gift Article): The FBI Director Is MIA. “Kash Patel has alarmed colleagues with episodes of excessive drinking and unexplained absences.”

+ Patel is responding to the news that he does things Trump doesn’t like (getting drunk and not controlling the story) by doing a couple things Trump does like. Targeting enemies and suing the media.

3

Lean, Mean, Green, Fighting Machine

“A humanoid robot that won a half-marathon race for robots in Beijing on Sunday ran faster than the human world record.” This, it turns out, is not the biggest (or scariest) robot news of the week. NYT (Gift Article): The Killer Robots Are Coming. The Battlefield Will Never Look the Same. “The robots charged into battle through a valley in eastern Ukraine, driving over grass toward a Russian position. Essentially little green wagons, they looked like something you might buy at a garden store to move bags of soil around. But each carried 66 pounds of explosives. As the remotely controlled vehicles approached the enemy soldiers, an aerial drone flew in and dropped a bomb to help clear a path. One of the robots then rushed in and blew itself up, while the others held back, monitoring the position. A sheet of cardboard appeared above a trench. ‘We want to surrender,’ it read.” (I hold up the same message to my laptop like three times a week.)

4

Failure is Not An Option

Noah Hawley in The Atlantic (Gift Article): What I Learned About Billionaires at Jeff Bezos’s Private Retreat. “Any asset can be acquired but nothing can ever be lost, because for soon-to-be trillionaires, no level of loss could significantly change their global standing or personal power. For them, the word failure has ceased to mean anything. This sense of invulnerability has deep psychological ramifications. If everything is free and nothing matters, then the world and other people exist only to be acted upon, if they are acknowledged at all. This is different from classic narcissism, in which a grandiose but fragile self-image can mask deep insecurity. What I’m talking about is a self-definition in which the individual grows to the size of the universe, and the universe vanishes.” (Remember, this is less the era when Trump empowered these guys than it is an era when these guys decided who they wanted to empower.)

5

Extra, Extra

Mind If We Play Through? “The decision was informed by the president’s behavior during the search and rescue operation for the aircrew of the downed F-15 fighter jet late last month, when the president reportedly screamed at his aides for hours. As a result, his aides ‘kept the president out of the room as they got minute-by-minute updates because they believed his impatience wouldn’t be helpful, instead updating him at meaningful moments.’” A commander-in-chief kept out of war meetings because of erratic behavior? That seems bad. Meanwhile, in Iran, it’s not completely clear who’s in charge. WSJ (Gift Article): Iran’s Hard-Liners Flex Their Muscle With a U-Turn Over Hormuz. “Divisions between moderates and the Revolutionary Guard will complicate U.S. efforts for a diplomatic win.” For now, the two sides are talking about restarting talks. Here’s the latest from The Guardian, NBC, and BBC.

+ Everybody’s Working for the Weakened: “But only the entities that officially paid the tariffs are eligible to recover that money. That means that the fuller universe of people affected by Mr. Trump’s policies — including millions of Americans who paid higher prices for the products they bought — are not able to apply for direct relief.” NYT: Trump Administration Takes Steps to Refund $166 Billion in Tariffs. (Would corporations have even demanded these refunds a few months ago, before Trump’s polls weakened?)

+ Miracle on Ice: Pancreatic cancer mRNA vaccine shows lasting results in an early trial. This is good news about mRNA, which provided a medical miracle with the Covid vaccine. So you have to wonder why Trump and RFK, Jr pulled $500 million in funding for mRNA vaccines. Of course, it’s more curious, and more dangerous, that these guys seem to hate vaccines in general. ProPublica: The Horrors That Could Lie Ahead if Vaccines Vanish. “If current rates drop by half, all four diseases could return.”

+ Shreveport Mass Shooting: “A man in Louisiana killed eight children Sunday in a shooting that authorities described as a domestic violence incident and was later killed by police after he fled in a carjacked vehicle.”

+ Mushroom Cloud: “Shares of psychedelic drug developers rose in premarket trading on Monday after U.S. President Donald Trump signed an executive ‌order directing health regulators to speed up reviews of psychedelic ‌drugs and boosted federal research funding.” Joe Rogan was a big proponent of this and was there for the EO signing. Which is interesting, considering he’s been attacking Trump’s war. Trump is savaging allies who criticize the Iran war. But he’s treating Joe Rogan very differently. (There’s one war Trump will never lose: The ratings war.)

+ Bag of Tricks: “Every time you stood in a store in the 2010s and compared a JanSport to a North Face to an Eastpak, you were comparing three labels owned by the same parent corporation. Same earnings call. Same margin targets. Same quarterly pressure. The sense that you were choosing between competitors was a fiction that VF Corp had no incentive to correct.” Your Backpack Got Worse On Purpose.

+ Liquid Assets: “When asked about the past day’s beverage consumption, they found that 66% of all participants had coffee, more than the 64% who said they had bottled water. Tea, soda, and juice sat at 47%, 46%, and 26%, respectively.” Coffee More Popular Than Water, Says National Coffee Association. (Of course, without the water, I find that coffee to be a little dry.)

6

Bottom of the News

“Mark Lyall, who is an actual psychologist by trade, tried to psych his out competition out by donning a luchador mask and a T-shirt with the saying ‘don’t throw rock.’ ‘What I found was that statistically, most people throw rock, then people will throw paper,’ Lyall said. He was knocked out in the second round. But the most common strategy among the hundreds of players? No strategy at all.” Into the world of competitive rock, paper, scissors.

+ It’s 4-20. Time for your annual reminder that this proud tradition started at my high school. (Interestingly, 4:20 was also the time my childhood therapy sessions started on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays.)

2

Watch This Space

“Congress has voted to extend a controversial surveillance program until April 30. The extension, which first passed overnight in the House, came after GOP leaders failed to secure a five-year renewal, as well as an 18-month renewal President Trump had demanded. Both votes tanked.” Congress extends controversial surveillance powers for 10 days.

+ “We disagree on many issues. One of us is a longtime Democrat, the other a conservative Republican. But both of us are deeply concerned about warrantless government surveillance of the American people.” Mike Lee and Dick Durbin: We Disagree on a Lot. But We Know This Law Must Change.

+ If the law does change, it will be one of the few times in recent memory that we’ll be getting surveilled a little less. From police cameras to private security, we’re being tracked everywhere, all the time. Wired: The Shocking Secrets of Madison Square Garden’s Surveillance Machine. “Famously vengeful Knicks owner Jim Dolan has long spied on people at his iconic arenas. WIRED goes deep inside the operation that allegedly tracked a trans woman, lawyers, protesters, and more.”

+ And you’re almost certainly having your license plate being tracked by Flock. Privacy concerns have caused dozens of towns to stop using the technology, which is pretty amazing considering people will almost always choose personal security over privacy concerns. When Flock Cameras Appear: Everything You Need to Know About This Surveillance Tech.

3

All Hat, No Capital

A coalition of businesses called Seat the Table is “demanding that Congress and the White House create work permits for ‘long-term, law-abiding immigrants playing critical roles from farms to restaurants.’” Which radical, leftist, open-border-loving state are these people from? Texas. It turns out that immigrants are good for business. “’I think the vast majority of Americans recognize that there is a large group of undocumented immigrants who have been literally keeping food on our tables,’ said Kelsey Erickson Streufert, the chief public affairs officer for the Texas trade group. ‘And if we remove those people, it is going to hurt everyone in terms of higher prices.’” Of course the vast majority of Americans realize this. But the vast majority of Americans aren’t running our current immigration strategy. NYT (Gift Article): Texas Restaurants Are Forcing a Reckoning Over Immigrant Labor.

4

Weekend Whats

What to Book: “Vernice and Annie, two motherless daughters raised in Honeysuckle, Louisiana, have been best friends and neighbors since earliest childhood but are fated to live starkly different lives.” Both are well worth reading about. Kin by Tayari Jones is a great read.

+ What to Doc: The latest doc from the excellent Marshall Curry on Netflix explores the history of The New Yorker magazine as it hits the century mark. It’s a must-watch for anyone who digs the New Yorker, or magazines in general. It’s also a celebration of journalism.

+ What to Watch: “As Silicon Valley and its overlords veer into AI-fueled peak depravity, a would-be tech titan and his ethically challenged therapist try to find a fortune (and happiness) for themselves.” Audacity on AMC puts the tech industry on the therapist’s couch. In other words, there will be a lot to unravel. This new satire is off to a solid start.

5

Extra, Extra

Expanding the Gun Range: “In the last couple of years, a growing number of women and people of color have begun training with Mr. Mills. His clients are conservatives, moderates, liberals, and those who defy simple labels altogether. His star student is Eva, a former infantry soldier who appears at the range in pink stockings and painted nails.” More liberals are buying guns. Why? “L.A. Progressive Shooters, a gun-education group in Los Angeles that welcomes people regardless of their politics, has had to expand its increasingly sold-out training sessions. Another nationwide group based in Newton, Massachusetts, the Liberal Gun Club, saw its membership rise by 66%.” (When it comes to guns, everyone is in the target market. After the past week, the Pope will probably buy a Glock.)

+ Doge for Diplomats: “He has shocked its mainstream leaders, many of them with decades of experience in diplomacy, by accusing them of stifling freedom and by frequently meeting with and promoting their hard-line challengers. He is just five years out of college, and he has repeatedly advocated an approach that overturns three generations of American diplomatic orthodoxy.” NYT (Gift Article): The 27-Year-Old Diplomat Waging Trump’s Cultural War With Europe.

+ Life is But a Stream: “In the past, all you needed to watch your favorite NFL team every Sunday was access to local television channels. That can still work these days, but only if you live in that team’s particular city … as long as that team isn’t playing in a prime-time, nationally televised game … or if that team wasn’t selected to play one of the games on the various streaming services.” Sports is one of the few things that still brings us together. (If you’re a subscriber...) U.S. senator to introduce bill aimed at ending sports blackouts.

+ This Must Be Replace: “It’s like the Uber of advanced AI training: a gig-work platform for white-collar and skilled professionals that offers a path for them to earn something extra from their expertise—at the risk of eventually sacrificing their careers to AI.” Bloomberg (Gift Article): Mercor is promising to replicate most professional work. It was also co-founded by twentysomethings who previously never held a real job. (Back in my day, if you couldn’t qualify for an actual job, you launched a newsletter.)

+ No Ethics Allowed: “The Justice Department has removed the career Miami federal prosecutor leading the investigation into John Brennan, after she resisted pressure to quickly bring charges.”

+ Shots Across the Bow: “The woman, who fell and injured herself, said in a lawsuit that bartenders had been negligent for serving her while she was visibly intoxicated.” Woman Who Took 15 Tequila Shots on Carnival Cruise Gets $300,000 in Damages. (With that kind of consumption, I wouldn’t have been surprised if she quoted Pulp Fiction as bible scripture...)

6

Feel Good Friday

“Scientists are often advised to explain their work in terms that a child can understand—a task that is particularly challenging when it comes to such complex topics as quantum mechanics. It’s easier when the interviewer is an actual child, like 9-year-old Kai, aka the Quantum Kid.”

+ NYT (Gift Article): The Hit Erotica Writers Outwitting Nigeria’s Religious Censors. “His Majesty’s great staff is what impresses you all.” (And no, that’s not a line from one of Trump’s cabinet meetings.)

+ Woman, 96, enlists 150-pound dog to plant spring flowers: She points, he digs. (My beagles must be pretty well trained. They dig without me pointing. Even if I stay, “stop digging,” they dig.)

+ “There are few things to know about this historic game: there are no rules, no boundaries, no time limits and no referee.” Uppies and Downies, the medieval football game that has no rules and no time limit.

+ “Chinese carmaker Seres has been granted a patent for what it calls an ‘in-vehicle toilet‘ that slides under a passenger’s seat for visits to the loo while on the road.” (I may finally say yes to going on that road trip...)

2

Defense Mechanisms

While the AI arms race is rapidly changing, the traditional arms race is undergoing a similar transformation. Ukraine and Iran are serving as test cases for a new kind of war, where bigger isn’t always better. “In the past, military power was often determined by size – the number of knights, soldiers, guns or tanks, depending on the era, that an army had. Since the Cold War, advanced militaries have emphasized precise munitions, such as cruise missiles, gaining advantage with fewer but more accurately targeted weapons. Inexpensive but technologically sophisticated drones bring mass and precision together.” The Conversation: One‑way attack drones: Low‑cost, high‑tech weapons ‘democratize’ precision warfare.

+ So far, the use of drones and other low cost munitions has been countered using advanced missiles and other other high cost defense systems. Those weapons are expensive, and they take longer to produce. Hence, we get a headline like this from the WSJ (Gift Article): Pentagon Approaches Automakers, Manufacturers to Boost Weapons Production. “The Trump administration wants automakers and other American manufacturers to play a larger role in weapons production, reminiscent of a practice used during World War II ... The Pentagon is interested in enlisting the companies to use their personnel and factory capacity to increase production of munitions and other equipment as the wars in Ukraine and Iran deplete stocks.”

3

The Other War

“’This grim and chastening anniversary marks another year when the world has failed to meet the test of Sudan,’ Tom Fletcher, emergency relief coordinator at the United Nations, said in a statement before a conference in Berlin on Wednesday to raise aid funds and call attention to the brutal conflict. ‘Sudan is an atrocities laboratory: sieges, denial of food, weaponized sexual violence.’” NYT (Gift Article): Sudan Enters Fourth Year of War Amid World’s Most Severe Humanitarian Crisis. This conflict is overshadowed by other wars. But it’s not unaffected by them. “The American-Israeli war on Iran has led to rising global fuel and fertilizer prices, Mr. Fletcher noted, compounding the severe food crisis in Sudan.”

4

Crossing the Pope

“Vance’s slap at Leo—including the pompous implication that he needs to go back and do some theology homework—illustrates the political and religious risks that Vance is willing to take not only with the Vatican, but with a country whose population is one-fifth Catholic, in order to demonstrate his utter fealty to Trump.” Tom Nichols in The Atlantic (Gift Article): Pope James David Vance the First.

+ Amid a quarrel with the Pope, Trump strips Miami charity of funding to house migrant kids. (This move features blasphemy, spite, pettiness, cruelty, corruption, vindictiveness, and the harm of immigrant children. How could Trump resist?)

+ The Pope isn’t backing down. “Woe to those who manipulate religion and the very name of God for their own military, economic and political gain, dragging that which is sacred into darkness and filth ... They turn a blind eye to the fact that billions of dollars are spent on killing and devastation, yet the resources needed for healing, education and restoration are nowhere to be found ... The world is being ravaged by a handful of tyrants.”

+ “Pete Hegseth — always ready to get medieval on someone’s ass — quoted a fake Bible verse from Pulp Fiction while leading a prayer service at the Pentagon.” (Also, we have a lot of prayer services at the Pentagon these days...)

5

Extra, Extra

Ceasefire Spreads: From Reuters: Trump says Israel and Lebanon agree on ceasefire, optimism grows on ending Iran war. At this point, almost all parties have significant motivations to end this thing (even if they end up in worse positions than before the war). Trump is worried about the stock market and his falling approval numbers. Iran’s economy is on the brink. And Europe has ‘maybe 6 weeks of jet fuel left.’ Here’s the latest from The Guardian, NBC, and the NYT.

+ Swalwell Known: “My whole body felt physically sick and I remember my head rushed, and I just was like, oh, my gosh ... I just felt like I had to do everything I could to just hold one man accountable.” NPR: How Eric Swalwell’s fall was brought on by a network of women who organized online. (Now, for the next question: How did his support from insiders last as long as it did?) Also, “Former Virginia Lt. Gov. Justin Fairfax, a rising star in the Democratic Party before his career was derailed by sexual assault allegations several years ago, killed his wife before killing himself, police said Thursday.”

+ Shaker of Salt: WSJ (Gift Article): San Diego Now Has So Much Water That It’s Selling It. “With the Colorado River in crisis, Arizona and Nevada are turning to an unconventional lifeline: the ocean water off California’s golden beaches. Both desert states are pursuing a deal with the San Diego County Water Authority to tap millions of gallons of fresh water produced by a Carlsbad ocean-desalination plant—the largest in North America—to help offset their reliance on the collapsing Colorado River.” (If we desalinate fast enough, maybe we can drink our way out of the sea rise problem!)

+ Yale Gives it the Old Harvard Try: “A 10-member committee offered a brutal assessment of academia’s role in creating the forces challenging American colleges and universities.” NYT (Gift Article): Yale Report Finds Colleges Deserve Blame for Higher Education’s Problems.

+ Arch Madness: “Mr. Trump’s push to build the giant arch — more than quadrupling its size from original plans — has alienated early proponents of the project, classical architects and veterans groups who say it will diminish nearby Arlington Cemetery.” Trump’s ‘Triumphal Arch’ Draws Backlash, Even From an Expert Who Proposed It. (I know everyone is investing in AI these days, but I’m putting all my money into wrecking balls and jackhammers...)

+ Moby Trick: Sperm whales’ communication closely parallels human language. “Not only do sperm whale have a form of “alphabet” and form vowels within their vocalizations but the structure of these vowels behaves in the same way as human speech.” (Wait until they figure out how funny their name is...)

6

Bottom of the News

“As a plumbing contractor in Alaska, Henson first served it to workers. His herbs, spices, buttermilk and mayo concoction then became such a hit with guests at Hidden Valley, the dude ranch he and his wife opened in California, that he sold it as a DIY dry mix. Eventually, Clorox bottled a shelf-stable version, and competitors like Ken’s, Kraft Foods and Wish-Bone joined in.” Ranch dressing: An American staple that actually began life on ... a ranch.

+ “Sixty years after it invented sports drinks, Gatorade is making a surprising pivot: It’s no longer focusing primarily on athletes.” Now, it’s all about offering hydration that’s supposedly better than water.

2

Political Career Elegy

You thought that Trumpian attacks on the Pope would be a bridge too far for the sycophants who have sold their souls? Have you learned nothing over the years? NYT (Gift Article): Vance Says the Pope Should Be More Careful When Talking About Theology. “In the same way that it’s important for the vice president of the United States to be careful when I talk about matters of public policy, I think it’s very, very important for the pope to be careful when he talks about matters of theology.” Mike Johnson has joined the papal critique. “’I was taken a little bit aback, just honestly, frankly, by something that he said, I think he said several days back, something about ‘those who engage in war, Jesus doesn’t hear their prayers’ or something’ ... Johnson went on to preach against the highest Catholic’s teachings, claiming that it’s a ‘very well settled matter of Christian theology’ that war is sometimes justified, and invoking the ‘just war’ doctrine within military ethics.” Look, I’m more of a Moses man myself, so if these guys want to argue with the Pope about how Jesus feels about war, I’m going to stay out of it. But it does seem notable that the Trump cultists are now telling the Pope he’s wrong about religion. (If Jesus is really in favor of this war, maybe he can offer a strategy to win it.)

+ Here’s one factor that makes it a little harder to argue that the war on Iran is doing god’s work. WSJ (Gift Article): Iran’s Regime Has Changed—for the Worse. “On March 13, a massive billboard appeared in Tehran’s Enqelab Square. It showed Iran’s newly selected supreme leader, Mojtaba Khamenei, standing in a trench and instructing commanders of the Islamic Revolutionary Guard Corps to fire missiles at their enemies. The text suggested the mission is divinely inspired, comparing Khamenei to Imam Ali, a revered Muslim figure known for his legendary victory over Jewish tribes. For opponents of Iran’s regime, the image is the visual representation of their worst nightmare: a militarized Iran ruled by a younger, hard-line leader where the Revolutionary Guard plays an even more dominant role.” (Leaders who believe they are divinely commissioned to violently suppress their own people and wantonly attack other countries? If nothing else, Trump, Vance, and Johnson should be able to find some common ground with these folks.) Here’s the latest on the Strait, the blockade, and continuing talks from NBC and BBC.

3

The Creative Processor

“Studies show that overreliance on these digital tools causes cognitive decline, but if current events are any indication, nobody’s making much of a contribution anyway. Go ahead and use A.I. however you like. Except art. If you use it for your art, you’re a freakin’ hack. Why is it that the most vocal cheerleaders of generative A.I. are always the hackiest motherfreakers around? You expect studio executives to say things like ‘it’s going to revolutionize content’ and ‘from a bottom-line standpoint it’s inevitable’ and ‘I’ve finally found an instrument as cold and empty as myself,’ but you’d hope that an artist would have more self-respect. Some people say, ‘I just use it to brainstorm ideas.’ If you don’t know what to paint or compose or write, you’re in the wrong job. Art is the business of making up stuff — go make up some stuff.” Colson Whitehead in the NYT (Gift Article): Don’t Use A.I. to Do This. “Data centers — gigawatt-sucking, pollution-spewing slop houses of mediocrity — are ravaging the environment, consuming all the water and electricity and supercharging utility bills ... [But] do you realize how much water and power it’d take to replicate the average writer’s narcissism, self-loathing and despair? It’d drain the Indian Ocean. You could light up Times Square for a year. We can’t afford it.”

4

Everything Bagels

“High-quality bagels, with their finicky baking process, have always been notoriously unprofitable and unscalable. But recent developments in bakery and coffee technology, along with changes in social media, consumer tracking, capital funding and delivery platforms, have changed that.” Big Money Is Betting on Bagels. (Bagels are bigger than ever because people feel they can use the dough missing from where the hole is to argue they’re cutting down on carbs.)

+ It’s only a matter of time before the bagel industry comes up with an AI angle. After all, everyone else is doing it. A headline for the ages: Allbirds Soars After Sneaker Firm Rebrands as AI Stock. (Sometimes, the idea of computers replacing humans doesn’t seem all that bad...)

5

Extra, Extra

Under the Gun: It’s a good time to be in the weapons business. It’s not just that we’re depleting our arsenal in Iran. It’s also that our allies have realized they can no longer count on America. That makes it a bigly buyer’s market in the defense industry. WSJ(Gift Article): Europe Is Accelerating a NATO Fallback Plan in Case Trump Pulls Out. It’s also not a bad time to be in the oil business. Big oil reaping huge war windfall from consumers. And that includes Russia, where Oil Revenues Nearly Doubled in March.

+ Trading and Abetting: According to Bloomberg, US Probes Suspicious Oil Trades Made Before Trump Pivots. (Five bucks says this investigation gets dropped as soon as they find out some of the people making the trades...)

+ Big Ticket Case: “A jury in a high-stakes antitrust trial on Wednesday found that Live Nation and its subsidiary, Ticketmaster, illegally maintained monopoly power in the ticketing market.” (Knowing Live Nation, they’ll probably sell tickets to the appeal...)

+ Justice Just Isn’t: “The Justice Department moved Tuesday to wipe out the seditious conspiracy convictions of the leaders of the Proud Boys and Oath Keepers who were found guilty of organizing key aspects of the Jan. 6 attack on the Capitol.” (Meanwhile, another pardoned Jan. 6 rioter to admit guilt in child sexual abuse case.)

+ Without Reserve: As Trump threatened to fire Powell, federal prosecutors showed up unannounced at the Federal Reserve building.

+ The Tragical Mystery Tour: “While carrying out public business for his father-in-law, he has continued to pursue his private interests and declined to disclose any information about them.” The Atlantic (Gift Article): Jared Kushner’s Mysterious Role in the Trump Administration. (Ethics aside, what about qualifications?)

+ Manspleening: “After Dr. Shaknovsky removed the organ, ‘The staff looked at the readily identifiable liver on the table and were shocked when Dr. Shaknovsky told them that it was a spleen.’” This story is even crazier and more disturbing than its headline. Surgeon Who Removed Wrong Organ From Patient Is Charged in His Death.

6

Bottom of the News

“The people who gather in this small room on the eighth floor of the New York Stock Exchange look like a group of middle-aged caffeine addicts. They sit around what resembles a school science lab sniffing coffee beans and slurping coffee so aggressively that there’s loud music playing to drown them out. But these aren’t junkies with bad manners. They’re part of an elite team of graders who help keep the commodities market running. Their ratings help set U.S. futures-market prices for arabica, and in turn, the global coffee industry. And they’ve arguably never been more valuable.” WSJ (Gift Article): Wall Street’s Elite Team of Coffee Tasters Who Keep the Global Market Running. (I wonder if they offer similar gigs for the cannabis market...)

+ Scientists just discovered 5.6 million bees under a New York State cemetery.

2

Bad Hombres in Childcare

“The government’s own records complicate that picture. Only about 5 percent of people booked into ICE custody in the last year have been convicted of a violent crime. The number of arrests of people with violent convictions has increased by 37 percent under Trump, while the number of arrests of those with no conviction of any kind has risen by 770 percent, according to ICE data. Many agents and officials we spoke to say the relentless pursuit of deportations is unsustainable and has compromised the department.” NYT Magazine (Gift Article): The View From Inside Trump’s D.H.S.

+ “Under Joe Biden, D.H.S. had designated ‘protected areas,’ where ICE and Customs and Border Protection were discouraged from conducting operations; these included places ‘where children gather.’ Trump’s D.H.S. rescinded that designation, freeing agents to target children, parents, and caregivers at playgrounds, child-care centers, and schools.” The New Yorker: The Return of Family Detention.

+ Not worried about the ethical price? There’s a financial cost, too. Immigrants Are Scared to File Taxes. It Could Cost the U.S. Billions.

3

Gummy Bear Bull Market

“Wellness gurus, Make America Healthy Again influencers and no shortage of startups are urging us to eat healthier. Sure, one could follow Robert F. Kennedy Jr.’s revised food pyramid, one purported guide to healthier eating, but there’s an even easier fix these groups are also pushing: supplements. Swallow a capsule, mix a powder in some water or pop a nutrient-packed candy. The fast growing US supplement market was valued at $69 billion in 2024 and is expected to reach $87 billion by 2028.” Can we gummy ourselves to good health? We’re sure as hell gonna try. Bloomberg (Gift Article): Unilever Bets Big on Gummies as Next Frontier in Wellness.

4

Eating Into Profits

There’s no shortage of stories about the great and growing economic divide, and the many categories and companies shifting toward serving the luxury market. But you still might not have expected to see this on the list. Gone are the days of the $1 buffet in Las Vegas. Now $175 buffets offer luxury dining. (I’m still confident I can turn an all-you-can-eat buffet visit into a net loss for these restaurants. But, it’s not as easy as it used to be.)

5

Extra, Extra

A Great Deal Left to Be Desired: According to sources, the US has proposed a 20-year minimum suspension on Iranian uranium enrichment (reminder that we had a nuclear deal with Iran that a certain someone tore up). It looks like there could be more peace talks in the next few days. And, “Lebanon and Israel are holding their first direct diplomatic talks in more than 30 years.” Xi Jinping said the world must not be allowed to “revert to the law of the jungle.” Here’s the latest from The Guardian, BBC, and NBC.

Brothers in Arms: “The war in Gaza has hardened positions in the Middle East and around the globe. But two men, an Israeli and a Palestinian, say that after that war began in 2023, they became like brothers. It is a brotherhood born out of trauma.” After losing loved ones, an Israeli and a Palestinian work together for Middle East peace.

+ Quit Pro Quo: “Two members of Congress facing sexual misconduct allegations from former staffers have announced they will resign from the House amid a push to expel them from Congress. Democratic Rep. Eric Swalwell, who represents California’s 14th Congressional District, and Republican Rep. Tony Gonzales, who represents Texas’s 23rd Congressional District, both said Monday they plan to resign.” (This brings up an interesting philosophical question: Can you step down from Congress when Congress no longer exists?) Maybe resigning in shame isn’t enough. Swalwell sounds like a serial monster. No one seemed all that surprised at this story breaking. Makes you wonder why so many backed him until it did. Woman says Eric Swalwell drugged, raped and choked her.

+ Rosé Colored Glasses: “Only 10% of Americans said they were more excited than concerned about the increased use of AI in daily life. Meanwhile, 56% of AI experts said they believed AI would have a positive impact on the U.S. over the next 20 years.” Stanford report highlights growing disconnect between AI insiders and everyone else. (In short, the people poised to make billions off the technology are more psyched than the people who are poised to lose their jobs.) If you’re interested in the state of AI, the whole report is available here. The 2026 AI Index Report.

+ Saudi With a Chance of Meatballs: The Hollywood Reporter: Inside Saudi Arabia’s Billion-Dollar Bet on Hollywood. “The Saudis are pouring billions into the Ellisons’ Warner Bros. megamerger — and that’s just the latest move in a Hollywood takeover that’s really about courting Trump, buying Washington influence and giving a restless young population bread and circuses instead of human rights.”

+ Jesus Saves (And Emails): “Generally, people who are working for the government understand that their job is to work on behalf of all Americans ... And this is something very different. This is very explicitly Christian, and even within the realm of Christianity, a very narrow representation of that.” Wired: Government Workers Say They’re Getting Inundated With Religion. Meanwhile, JD Vance defends Trump amid spat with Pope Leo: “Stick to matters of morality.” (A member of this administration wants to shift the topic to morality? Now, I’ve heard everything.)

+ Hippocrisy: “Colombia is the only country outside of Africa with a wild hippo population. The hippos are the descendants of four brought to the country in the 1980s by Escobar as he built a private zoo in Hacienda Nápoles, a gigantic ranch in the Magdalena River valley with a private landing strip that served as his rural abode.” Colombia to kill dozens of ‘cocaine hippos’ linked to Pablo Escobar. (Cocaine Hippo was my nickname in the eighties.)

6

Bottom of the News

“Thirteen thousand miles. Infinite contenders. One beautiful loaf.” Caity Weaver in The Atlantic (Gift Article): I Found It: The Best Free Restaurant Bread in America. (My glucose alarm bell kept going off, so I couldn’t make it to the end. But give me sourdough or give me death.)

2

Blockade and Abet

“Speaking at the White House, the US president says Iran wants a deal ‘very badly’ and he was called this morning ‘by the appropriate people’ seeking an agreement.” Meanwhile, the US has imposed its own naval blockade on maritime traffic near the Strait. (Maybe a blockade times a blockade equals a positive.) So far, allies have rejected Trump’s call to join the blockade effort. Here’s the latest on the ceasefire and the ongoing negotiations from The Guardian, BBC, and the NYT.

+ Fareed Zakaria with an excellent overview of how Trump’s suggestion that the US can profit from Hormuz tolls flies in the face of our core values. “These are revealing remarks, not because they are outrageous. Trump has said many outrageous things, but because they distill a worldview. They suggest a shift in how the United States might see its role not as the guarantor of a system, but as the participant in a deal.”

+ While U.S. negotiators shattered peace talks with Iran, Donald Trump was at a UFC event in Miami, fawning over the body of a Brazilian mixed martial artist. (The only war Trump won was the one on parody.)

3

The Dope and the Pope

“Donald Trump posted an AI-generated image of himself to Truth Social on Sunday depicting him as a Jesus Christ-like figure, with divine light emanating from his hands as he heals a stricken man in a hospital bed with a demon from hell floating in the background.” It proved to be a troll too far, even for Trump supporters, and he removed the post. While he deleted the post, he didn’t take back ridiculous attacks on the Pope about being “WEAK on Crime, and terrible for Foreign Policy,” and having only been elected because of him. “If I wasn’t in the White House, Leo wouldn’t be in the Vatican.” The Pope was undeterred: “I have no fear of the Trump administration, nor speaking out loudly about the message of the Gospel. That’s what I believe in. I am called to do what the church is called to do.” (You think Trump’s comments are gonna bum out the Pope? The guy is a friggin White Sox fan.)

+ NYT (Gift Article): Trump’s Erratic Behavior and Extreme Comments Revive Mental Health Debate. (What’s the debate; whether he qualifies for a chapter in the DSM or deserves to be on the cover?)

4

Container Class

“Here are some things that have been found in donation bins: A live puppy. Live Japanese grenades. An 1854 tombstone for Rebecca Jane Nye. Old skulls. A stolen Frederic Remington sculpture. Customized Air Jordans made for Spike Lee. Three pounds of marijuana. Five pounds of marijuana. A five-hundred-pound US Navy practice bomb. A mas­todon tooth. An inert mortar shell. A live mortar shell. A Rolex worth three thousand dollars. A World War I machine gun. The first stamp issued in the US. More than five thousand used blood vials. A Bible signed by the 1953 Pittsburgh Pirates. People.” Paul Collins on a problem you almost certainly didn’t know about. Donation containers that are killing people. The Believer: The Death of a Superman.

5

Extra, Extra

Moon Shine: Artemis II’s moon-traveling astronauts return home to cheers after a record-breaking trip. “Hansen said the four of them embodied love ‘and extracting joy out of that’ as the four joined together to stand in a row, embracing one another. ‘When you look up here, you’re not looking at us. We are a mirror reflecting you. And if you like what you see, then just look a little deeper. This is you.’” (We had to go to the far side of the moon to get a reminder of the decency, diversity, and joyful endeavors of humans here on Earth.)

+ The Fall of Swalwell: “Multiple House Democrats have called for the resignation of California Representative Eric Swalwell following serious sexual assault allegations against him. Swalwell dropped out of the California gubernatorial election Sunday, but remains in the House.” (The stories came out. The end was swift. It sure didn’t seem like many insiders were surprised to learn of Swalwell’s behavior.)

+ Car-cass: “What happened? How did a basic necessity of American life become a luxury good? We have to start with a transformation of the economy itself beginning in the late 1970s ... Today, there are so many wealthy people who can afford luxury cars that it simply isn’t that profitable for companies to produce cars for the bottom 40 percent of Americans by income.” NYT (Gift Article): The Death of the Basic American Car.

+ Do Not Merge: “Joaquin Phoenix, Ben Stiller, Kristen Stewart and 1,000-Plus Hollywood Names Oppose Paramount-Warner Deal in Open Letter: Block the Merger.”

+ Jacket Racket: “Even after a heart-pounding moment on 18, when McIlroy drove his tee shot deep into the woods on the right, there was still no catching him, not even from world No. 1 Scottie Scheffler, who trailed McIlroy by a dozen strokes entering the weekend only to finish one shot back.” Rory McIlroy collects second straight green jacket at the Masters. And from The Ringer: Rory McIlroy Does It the Hard Way (Again).

+ Making a More Human Zuck? “Meta creating AI version of Mark Zuckerberg so staff can talk to the boss.”

+ Swan Song? “A study found that traffic fatalities increased in the United States by nearly 15 percent on the same days as the biggest album releases.” Is a Big Album Dropping? You Might Want to Watch the Road.

6

Bottom of the News

“Ms. Peiker said she often comes across women who are alone on mountain paths because their partners are hiking ahead. So she wasn’t surprised when, during the past weeks, women on Reddit, Instagram and TikTok began sharing stories of being left behind by their partners while hiking, biking and climbing in nature, calling it ‘Alpine divorce.’” NYT (Gift Article): If He Leaves You on a Mountain, End Your Relationship.

+ Ichiro Suzuki honorary statue unveiled by Mariners, but with broken bat.

2

The American Add Vance

Negotiations over the next days and weeks will determine what we have or haven’t achieved through the Iran “excursion.” But some parts of the scoreboard are already coming into focus. Fareed Zakaria talked to Ezra Klein about what Iran has gained: “What it has gained is a far more usable weapon than nuclear weapons. It has realized — and shown the world — that it can destroy the global economy, that it can block the Strait of Hormuz — and that it would have a cataclysmic follow-on effect.” And what America has lost: “That whole idea that the United States saw itself as different, saw itself not as one more in the train of great imperial powers — which, when it was their turn, decided to act rapaciously, to extract tribute, to enforce a brutal vision of dominance — all that was, in a sense, thrown away. I realize it was just one tweet, but it was the culmination of something Trump has been doing for a long time.”

+ For some, the war losses have been far more tangible. Iran’s Schools and Hospitals in Ruins, Times Analysis Shows.

+ None of the discussions of recent mistakes made by the administration should be seen as excusing a deadly Iranian regime that has been terrible for its own people, the region, and the world. Nadav Eyal in The Atlantic (Gift Article): The Forgotten War That Iran Already Won. “The most important war that Iran has fought was largely undeclared and is almost entirely forgotten. It was a war against regional peace and the agreements that might have secured it.”

+ In the latest round of negotiations, the team of Witkoff and Kushner will be led by a new participant. Vice President JD Vance is leading negotiations this weekend toward an end to a war that he had opposed starting. Here’s the latest from NBC, The Guardian, and BBC.

3

Modern Mythos

“According to Anthropic, the bot has been able to find thousands of software bugs that had gone undetected, sometimes for decades, a sophistication and speed of attack previously thought by many to be impossible. The model has found a nearly 30-year-old vulnerability in one of the world’s most secure operating systems. The Anthropic researcher Sam Bowman posted on X that he was eating a sandwich in the park when he got an email from Mythos Preview: The bot had broken out of the company’s internal sandbox and gained access to the internet.” Claude Mythos Is Everyone’s Problem.

+ It’s not just tech journalists that are worried about the Mythos threat. “Treasury Secretary Scott Bessent and Federal Reserve Chair Jerome Powell summoned bank CEOs to an urgent meeting this week to warn about the cybersecurity risks associated with Anthropic’s powerful Mythos AI model.”

4

Weekend Whats

What to Doc: Chess Mates on Netflix tracks the biggest controversy in the chess world (and, as it turns out, in the anal bead world). You might not know who to believe and you don’t have to be into chess, or beads, to be into this documentary.

+ What to Book: Matthew Pearl’s novel The Award is about writers, and award, and the crimes it inspires.

+ What to Couchella: Music festivals are always best enjoyed from the comfort of one’s couch. And, given the possible weather issues, that’s more true for this year’s Coachella. Catch your favorite bands on YouTube.

5

Extra, Extra

Political Pawnshops: In large part due to the Iran war, Inflation is way up and consumer sentiment is way down. Don’t want to listen to the economists? Then listen the pawn shop owners. Bloomberg (Gift Article): Pawn Shop Loans Spike as High Gas Prices Weigh on Americans.

+ First Lady Doth Protest Too Much: You can dissect Trump’s motivations for any move in two seconds. Melania stumped us on the first try. Why did she give that Epstein press conference? A lot of people seem to think it has something to do with a former friend who was recently removed from the country and has been threatening the first lady on social media. I have no idea if that’s right and this is just social media theorizing for now. But here’s the backstory, which is real, and disturbing. Trump Friend Asked ICE to Detain the Mother of His Child.

+ Fear Factor: Trump posts graphic video of deadly hammer attack, blames Democratic immigration policies. (Don’t let in outsiders because they’re too dangerous, says a guy who threatens to destroy an entire civilization...)

+ Adding Fuel Prices to the Fire: “The Irish government said it had called in the army to help clear blockades of crucial roads, after days of protests over the surging price of fuel, driven by the war in the Middle East, brought highways and streets to a standstill.” Fuel Protests Cause Transport Chaos in Ireland as Iran War Spikes Prices.

+ Token Gesture: “There was another detail from that afternoon that struck the worker: On the platform at Broad Street was a throng of maybe 20 teenagers avidly filming the orphaned train.” NYT (Gift Article): Who Is Keeping These Trains Moving? Teenagers, Illegally.

+ Chimps and Chumps: NYT (Gift Article): These Chimps Began the Bloodiest ‘War’ on Record. No One Knows Why. “Two factions split about a decade ago and have been engaged in a highly lethal conflict ever since. Scientists have never seen such widespread, long-running bloodshed among chimpanzees. Further studies may shed light on the roots of warfare in our own species.” But here’s the kicker. “The Trump administration’s proposed budget, released on Friday, has cast doubt on whether the research will continue.” (I’m sure Trump can bring peace among Ugandan chimps in one day.)

6

Feel Good Friday

“’It wasn’t real until we got here,’ said Steve Gildner, a friend in the insurance business. ‘When he was stretching this morning, he was between [Dustin Johnson] and Rory [McIlroy]. It’s crazy.” Meet the realtor who earned a tee time at Augusta National.

+ Britain breaks solar energy record twice as UK’s biggest solar farm gets approval. In some places, energy advances are still moving ahead. BYD and KFC will pair fast EV charging with drive-thru dining in China. “Central to the agreement is a concept the two companies are calling ‘9-minute one-stop human and vehicle refueling,’ a nod to BYD’s second-generation Blade battery — introduced in March — which BYD says can bring a vehicle from 10% battery to 97% in nine minutes.”

+ Chicago Turns All Public School IDs Into Library Cards To Boost Student Access.

+ “A woman who had three different autoimmune conditions has not required treatments for almost a year after her immune cells were genetically modified and used to kill off the rogue cellsattacking her body.”

+ “New groundbreaking research by Stanford researchers has shown to do something that was previously believed not possible: reverse age-related cartilage loss in joints.”

+ Cambodia unveils statue to honor famous landmine-sniffing rat.

+ Woman who never stopped updating her lost dog’s chip reunites with him after 11 years.

+ Three-week-old mountain lion cub rescued by California biologists. (Oh, I’m definitely getting one of these!)

+ Reminder to longtime readers who have followed along with Robbi Behr and Matthew Swanson and their excellent Busload of Books program. The couples’ latest book is about to launch, and it’s getting remarkably good reviews! Like out of this world. Get your copy of Life on the Moon now.

2

Trump’s War Against American Credibility

“As the strikes on Iran grew deadlier and more destructive, many Iranians opposed to or ambivalent toward their government began to see the suffering inflicted on them as unacceptable. Some Iranians who once voiced hopes that bombardment could dislodge their rulers say they are now worried that they have ended up with the worst of both worlds — abandoned in a country in ruins, governed by an entrenched, emboldened leadership who they fear could act more aggressively against dissent.” NYT (Gift Article): Iran’s Battered Leaders Emerge From War Confident — and With New Cards.

+ “The war against Iran was not begun in consultation with allies. And it came after a series of events that have confounded them. Mr. Trump’s tariff wars were an unpleasant shock, but his threat to take Greenland by force if necessary from Denmark, a European and NATO ally, is seen as an inflection point about American predation, unreliability and contempt for traditional friends. ‘The Iran war and its economic impact are piling on and reinforce this sense that the U.S. right now has become unpredictable and undependable.’” NYT (Gift Article): A Cease-Fire for Now in Iran, but a Blow to American Credibility.

+ Blocking the Strait of Hormuz essentially held the world’s energy economy hostage. China is watching. And they know “a blockade of Taiwan would hurt the global economy more than Iran’s blockade of the Strait of Hormuz.” Oil isn’t the only thing the global economy depends on. We also need chips. “China will have paid close attention to Trump’s pain threshold. Although Beijing has numerous options for conquering Taiwan, the most appealing for the Chinese military would begin with a partial blockade of the island, much like the one Iran imposed on the strait. The resulting shock to the global economy would be far worse.” Simon Shuster: What China Just Learned From the Iran War.

+ Almost certainly under pressure from the US, Israel is opening talks with Lebanon, but Bibi keeps striking Lebanon, the Strait remains mostly closed, and Trump says he’s optimistic about negotiations: Iran’s leaders “talk much differently when you’re at a meeting than they do to the press. They’re much more reasonable. They’re agreeing to all the things that they have to agree to. Remember, they’ve been conquered. They have no military.” (Let’s hope both sides are much more reasonable and honest in private...) Here’s the latest from BBC, The Guardian, and NBC.

3

Birth Mark

“What is actually affecting the birth rates are likely lower rates of teen pregnancy overall, which is in the context of higher use of contraception and lower sexual activity for youth, and then also continued access to abortion care.” Teen birth rates hit another historical low in 2025, CDC says.

4

Odds and Ends

Betting on world events may be morally suspect, and turning every event into a gambling opportunity is almost certainly going to degrade our culture. But the news business could hardly be more willing to bet its future on the prediction markets. It seems almost every major news org has done a deal with one of the leading players. And now Google is getting in on the action. Google News Now Prominently Featuring Polymarket Bets.

5

Extra, Extra

Throwing Shade at Trees: “Late Tuesday afternoon, with the subtlety of a wrecking ball and the morality of a foreclosure notice, the Trump administration announced the most devastating attack on the U.S. Forest Service in the agency’s 121-year history. Not a budget cut. Not a policy shift. Not a ‘reorganization.’ An execution.” Trump administration orders dismantling of the U.S. Forest Service.

+ Breaking Badder: “Illicit labs are creating new synthetic drugs at breakneck speed. Dangerous, untested compounds are reaching users long before health agencies know they exist. Older drugs are regularly modified to create novel threats.” NYT: The Fast-Changing Chemistry of New, Dangerous Drugs.

+ Getting the Picture: A set of incredible, and often painful, images. Winners of the 2026 World Press Photo Contest.

+ The Last Emperor: I’ve often argued that if you want to know the truth about climate change, just pay attention to the number crunchers at insurance and re-insurance companies. Or you can pay attention to the penguins. Emperor Penguins Are Now Endangered, a New Assessment Finds.

+ Nerves of Steal “President Trump has championed the U.S. steel industry, promising to strengthen it and to impose stiff tariffs on foreign metals to shield manufacturers from overseas competitors. Yet the White House has secured tens of millions of dollars worth of donated foreign steel for Mr. Trump’s $400 million ballroom project.” NYT (Gift Article): White House Secures Foreign Steel for Ballroom Project. (Relax, it’s just part of a bribe.)

+ Speed Demon: “The overhaul of the immigration courts has been far less visible than the militarized deportation raids that President Trump scaled back after public protest. But the effort has helped reshape a hugely consequential, if little-known, corner of the government that the administration is harnessing to advance its mass-deportation policies.” How Trump Purged Immigration Judges to Speed Up Deportations.

+ A Hot Mess: “A Tennessee county school board voted unanimously Wednesday to censure a member who told a student, ‘God, you’re hot‘ at a public board meeting last week.”

6

Bottom of the News

You’re gonna need a bigger cup... “When Nate Wallick takes his kids tubing on the Illinois River near their home in Peoria, he makes them wear football helmets. He’s also built a cage around the front of their inner tube, and gives everyone nets to catch the carp ... Wallick wears a helmet and a cup when he goes water skiing, after once taking a hit to the groin that knocked him off his skis.” WSJ (Gift Article): Humans Are Losing the Fight Against Flying Fish.

+ And the Financial Times issues a correction that could define an era.

2

War: What Was It Good For?

However the peace negotiations play out, it’s hard to imagine America’s evolving place in the world will be better off than it was a couple months ago (when it was already suffering). The Atlantic (Gift Article): A New Geopolitical Reality Is Here. “The war has exposed the contradictions of the Trump administration’s geopolitical worldview. Under this president, the United States has rewarded Russia, ignored China, punished Europe, and abandoned its Asian allies and partners to an economic crisis that it helped set in motion.” (Is pulling out of NATO next?)

3

Restraint Constraint

“The good news is that Anthropic discovered in the process of developing Claude Mythos that the A.I. could not only write software code more easily and with greater complexity than any model currently available, but as a byproduct of that capability, it could also find vulnerabilities in virtually all of the world’s most popular software systems more easily than before. The bad news is that if this tool falls into the hands of bad actors, they could hack pretty much every major software system in the world, including all those made by the companies in the consortium.” Tom Friedman: Anthropic’s Restraint Is a Terrifying Warning Sign.

+ Anthropic may have gotten to this point first. They won’t be the last. Casey Newton explains why Anthropic’s new model has cybersecurity experts rattled. “One of the world’s three frontier labs has now created a model it says is too dangerous to release to the general public. These dangers emerged not from any specialized cyber training but from the same general improvements that every other lab is currently pursuing. As a result, models with similar capabilities may soon be accessible to criminals, hackers, and nation states — or even more broadly via open source models.”

4

This Apple Never Left the Tree

“In 1976, Chris Espinosa rode his Puch moped a mile and a half every Wednesday afternoon, parked it and went to work. Just 14 years old, he still had to go to school and didn’t have a driver’s license. But his employer, Apple Computer, had customers who wanted to try its earliest computer, and Mr. Espinosa was responsible for demonstrating it. Mr. Espinosa’s job has changed many times in the 50 years since. But he still works for Apple.” One of Apple’s First Employees Looks Back at 50 Years.

5

Extra, Extra

Crypt Script: “Bitcoin’s creator has hidden behind the pseudonym Satoshi Nakamoto for 17 years. But a trail of clues buried deep in crypto lore led to a 55-year-old computer scientist named Adam Back.” John Carreyrou in the NYT (Gift Article): My Quest to Solve Bitcoin’s Great Mystery. (I still think Bitcoin’s greatest mystery is: what is it good for?)

+ Moon Shots: Here are some more excellent photos from the Artemis II crew. (If these go viral on Instagram, everyone’s gonna want to visit the far side of the moon.) And Kottke’s got you covered if you need some Stunning Artemis II Phone Wallpapers. (It’s gonna take a lot more than a lunar joy ride to get my beagles off my lock screen...)

+ Plea Change: Rex Heuermann admits to killing 8 women in Gilgo Beach serial killings.

+ Ketamine Time: “She also said she had sold ketamine to Cody McLaury, a 33-year-old who died in 2019 shortly after purchasing the drugs, as well as Perry, and continued dealing after learning of their deaths.” ‘Ketamine Queen’ sentenced to 15-year prison term for role in Matthew Perry’s death.

+ Generic Rolled: “The country has one of the largest diabetic populations in the world by sheer number — more than 100 million people are estimated to be living with some form of the disease. And 350 million people there live with obesity. Heart attacks and strokes, which are lumped together under cardiovascular disease, claim 2.8 million lives a year in India, and strike nearly a decade earlier on average than in high-income countries.” That’s why the generic versions of GLP-1s could be a massive game changer. Ozempic just got cheap enough to change the world.

+ New Management, Same Boss: “The decision [to target Cassidy Hutchinson] was in keeping with the administration’s bid to find new ways to use the powers of the federal government to target Mr. Trump’s political opponents.” Justice Dept.’s Civil Rights Division Is Investigating Star Witness Against Trump. (Remember, Pam Bondi was canned in part because she wasn’t terrible enough when it comes to targeting Trump’s enemies...)

+ The LLM Will See You Now: “Online communities focused on health anxiety—an umbrella term for excessive worrying about illness or bodily sensations—are filling up with conversations about ChatGPT and other AI tools. Some say it makes them spiral more than ever, while others who feel like it helps in the moment admit it’s morphed into a compulsion they struggle to resist.” The ChatGPT Symptom Spiral. (I tend to spread my symptoms across several LLMs so none of them get as irritated with me as my friends and family are...)

6

Bottom of the News

“The door slides open to reveal an interior in a lovely shade of peacock blue more akin to what I’ve seen in a fancy hotel powder room. After you do your business and exit the stall — you can wash your hands inside or at a little station on the exterior that includes a potable water spigot — the door closes and the cleaning process commences after each use. It looks a bit like a toilet theme park: the bowl is drawn back into the rear wall, where it’s sprayed down and disinfected.” A deep dive into self-cleaning public toilets in Paris. The best seat in town. (I’m thinking about getting one of these for my house.)

+ The latest fashion statement: 7-Eleven merch.

2

Moon Beams

At one point yesterday, the Artemis II team was on the other side of the moon and completely out of contact with Earth (making them the happiest humans in the universe). They traveled farther from the Earth than any humans had ever gone before, and they’ve got the photos to prove it. Moon Joy: Photos From Artemis II.

+ “As the astronauts of Artemis II traveled farther from Earth than any humans before them, they paused. Speaking solemnly, they called down to mission control to request that an unnamed crater on the moon be dedicated to Carroll Wiseman, the wife of mission commander Reid Wiseman, who died of cancer in 2020.”

+ Not satisfied ruining everything on Earth, Trump called the astronauts to ruin a little of their trip. (The next thing NASA needs to invent: Intergalactic voicemail.)

3

A Shamazel Abroad

“He heaped praise on Mr. Orban as a ‘statesman’ who is ‘wise and smart’ and abuse on European Union ‘bureaucrats’ who he said ‘tried to destroy the Hungarian economy’ to sway Sunday’s result ‘because they hate this guy.’ Mr. Orban’s leadership, he added, “can provide a model to the Continent.’” Vance Visits Hungary to Boost Orban Before Election. Meanwhile, Russia supplies Iran with cyber support, spy imagery to hone attacks.

+ “Mr. Vance is responding as he always has whenever ambition calls: He’s humiliating himself. The vice president is scheduled to go to Hungary on Tuesday to campaign for the country’s authoritarian leader, Viktor Orban, a Kremlin-allied white nationalist who proclaims that Europeans ‘do not want to become peoples of mixed race.’” Dana Milbank in the NYT (Gift Article): How Much Humiliation Can Vance Take? (How much can wetake?)

4

Grim Reap

Some crops are currently wasting away in fields because there aren’t enough workers to pick them. Wait, what gives? I thought the plan was to chase away immigrant labor and wait for Americans to come take the jobs that are rightfully theirs? Well, it went something like this: “High wage mandates have ‘not resulted in a meaningful increase in new entrants of U.S. workers to temporary or seasonal agricultural jobs.’ Farmers received applications from U.S. workers for only 182 of 415,000 positions advertised in the last fiscal year.” WSJ (Gift Article): The Farm Labor Shortfall Bites.

5

Extra, Extra

Close Only Counts in Horseshoes and AI: “A recent analysis of AI Overviews found that they were accurate approximately nine out of 10 times. But with Google processing more than five trillion searches a year, this means that it provides tens of millions of erroneous answers every hour (or hundreds of thousands of inaccuracies every minute) ... Whether a response rate that is almost — but not quite — accurate should be celebrated is part of a widespread debate in Silicon Valley.” (It’s just not as heated as the debate over who will make the most money from AI...) NYT: How Accurate Are Google’s A.I. Overviews?

+ Some Assembly Required: Michigan held off UConn to win the March Madness crown. It was the second win for Michigan, but the first of its kind. Dusty May “deployed a starting five this season made up entirely of transfers. It was the first time in NCAA basketball history that a team with an all-transfer starting five won the championship.” For anyone old enough to remember the old Gabe Kaplan movie Fast Break, the NIL era has basically turned it into a documentary.

+ Hook, Lines, and Linker: “’It’s not like he was just holed up in his room 24-7,’ Freudenberg says. ‘He ran track. He played soccer. He was a great student.’ Until he dropped out of college at age 19. That’s when his mom found out that he had been gambling for nearly half his life.” More teens are getting hooked on gambling. Parents say it often goes undetected.

+ Lithium Valley: “In Imperial County, Calif., half of the roads are unpaved and the unemployment rate is sky-high. The shimmering water at a once-thriving lakeshore is toxic. Perhaps nowhere in California needs a lifeline more than this arid borderlands region in the southeastern corner of the state. And a mile underground, there might just be one.” NYT (Gift Article): The California Lake Billed as the Saudi Arabia of Lithium. (Not everyone is so sure the locals would benefit...)

+ Ye Nods: “Kanye West was barred Tuesday from entering the U.K., where he was scheduled to headline the Wireless Festival in July, after a backlash over [his] history of antisemitic remarks.” Sadly, the reaction of the public to his return isn’t quite the same. He was just joined by a bunch of famous guests during a couple sold out shows at SOFI in LA.

+ An International Terminal Case: “New Secretary of Homeland Security Markwayne Mullin wants to punish ‘sanctuary cities’ for refusing to cooperate with Donald Trump’s mass deportation agenda by stripping them of customs and immigration services.” New DHS Secretary Threatens to Sabotage America’s Biggest Airports.

+ To Recede or Reseed:“Ansell, the dermatologist, said she has had parents come in asking about finasteride for their teenage sons, looking to make sure they get ‘all the best they can have in order to succeed in life.’ Young men are also coming in on their own for help keeping their hair. ‘More of them are really anxious about it,’ Ansell said. ‘There’s no new epidemic of hair loss, but there is an epidemic of men freaking out about it.’” NYT (Gift Article): The Hair-Loss Drug Rewriting the Rules of Masculinity. (What about tradition? I made fun of my dad for being bald. And now I’m going bald. This is the way.)

6

Bottom of the News

“American families are leaning in to the low-tech life for their kids, installing home phones to stave off smartphone use. It’s creating some hiccups. For weeks after getting her phone, Elsie would call friends only to sit in agonizing silence, not knowing what to say.” WSJ (Gift Article): Kids Are Discovering the Joys—and Pains—of the Landline.

2

Search and Rescue

“Iran had launched several search parties, one of which had assembled at the base of the mountain where the weapons officer was hiding. For the Iranians, the downed Air Force colonel was a powerful asset they could use as leverage in high-stakes negotiations with the United States. For the U.S. military, which lives by the mantra of ‘no man left behind,’ finding the downed officer was a moral imperative. Battered by the force from his ejection, the weapons officer waited. He knew that both U.S. and Iranian forces were racing to find him.” A Harrowing Race Against Time to Find a Downed U.S. Airman in Iran.

3

Control Altman Delete

“The firm was established as a nonprofit, whose board had a duty to prioritize the safety of humanity over the company’s success, or even its survival.” Ronan Farrow and Andrew Marantz in The New Yorker: Sam Altman May Control Our Future—Can He Be Trusted? “Altman has a relentless will to power that, even among industrialists who put their names on spaceships, sets him apart. ‘He’s unconstrained by truth,’ the board member told us. ‘He has two traits that are almost never seen in the same person. The first is a strong desire to please people, to be liked in any given interaction. The second is almost a sociopathic lack of concern for the consequences that may come from deceiving someone.’” (Sound like the kind of guy you want in charge of making decisions about the future of AI?)

4

Ice Crusher

“The incident caught my eye because I sometimes attend wrestling shows, and because of a pet theory that’s gained momentum among pundits over the past decade: that the style of pro wrestling actually explains a lot about modern politics. The way that politicians stretch the truth for their audience, and quickly swap stances, and lean into a blustering, exaggerated persona—all of that’s wrestling.” Jeremy Gordon in The Atlantic(Gift Article): Wrestling’s Newest Star Is Massive, Bearded, and Ready to Piledrive Ice. “Politics may creep into any sport, but it can feel closer to the surface in wrestling, which made me think their anti-ICE chants were less a momentary gesture of support for the character King is cultivating and more an authentic expression of feeling at a particularly charged and violent moment in American life.”

+ Why is ICE losing favor in places where you might not expect it? Because the notion that they’re going after the worst and most dangerous criminals has been body slammed by reality. These are just a few of the headlines I came across today. MoJo: She Helped the Authorities Deport Her Abuser. Then They Deported Her Back to Him. NYT (Gift Article): ICE Agents Detain Newlywed Spouse of Soldier Training to Deploy. The Atlantic(Gift Article): She Testified About Being Raped. Then ICE Showed Up. NBC: Some Marines graduate without their parents present amid ICE fears.

5

Extra, Extra

Close Enough to Moon the Moon: “The astronauts woke up to the voice of Apollo 13 commander Jim Lovell, who recorded the message just two months before his death last August. “Welcome to my old neighborhood. It’s a historic day and I know how busy you’ll be, but don’t forget to enjoy the view.” Artemis II astronauts race to set a new distance record from Earth and behold the moon’s far side. Ars Technica: Artemis II is going so well that all we’re left to talk about is frozen urine.

+ America Upside Down: “Vice President JD Vance is heading to Hungary this week with a lofty goal: to try and boost Hungarian Prime Minister Viktor Orbán in the country’s looming election.”

+ Something Big Was Bruin: “UCLA stymied South Carolina, 79-51, on Sunday in the national title game to secure the program’s first NCAA championship. It was a dominant UCLA effort from the opening tip that turned into a runaway in the second half.” UCLA locks down South Carolina for dominant win, program’s first Women’s NCAA championship.

+ Island Fever: Trump Seeks $152 Million to Begin to Turn Alcatraz Back Into a Prison. (Time to close the Strait of the Golden Gate.)

+ Angel in the Outfield: ‘Greatest defensive game I’ve ever seen’: Jo Adell robs 3 home runs in dramatic Angels win. Wow.

+ I-Hopping to Waffle House: No One at Waffle House Remembers FEMA Official Who Says He Teleported In. “Gregg Phillips, who is in charge of responding to fires and floods, says the hand of God suddenly and mysteriously moved him to a 24-hour breakfast spot in Rome, Ga.” (If I ever have a religious experience like this, I can only hope it involves breakfast foods...)

6

Bottom of the News

“A woman who had sex with identical twins within four days of each other is unable to ensure one of them takes parental responsibility because it is ‘not possible‘ to know which is the father, the court of appeal has said.” (Someday, we’re gonna get back to a world where this is the top news of the day. You have to believe...)

2

Chronic Tonic

People with chronic illnesses are as aware as the rest of us that chatbots sometimes get it wrong. But they’re also comparing the act of using them to their experiences with the medical system. “The medical system really failed me. Is it a good thing to be depending on A.I. for medical advice? I don’t think so. But it’s the option that’s available.” Doctors Couldn’t Help Them. They Rolled the Dice With A.I. “Some women with complex chronic illnesses are using chatbots to search for diagnoses or relief from their symptoms.” (The answers may not always be satisfying, but at least the doctor will always see you now...)

+ The Verge (Gift Article): Chatbots are now prescribing psychiatric drugs. (It’s just for renewals ... for now.)

3

Drunk on Life

“In 2019, Mark Mongiardo, then a high school athletic director, was pulled over in Sullivan County, N.Y., after a dinner with the boys’ golf team. He’d eaten a hot dog and some fries, washed down with a soda. He hadn’t had a sip of alcohol, but the officer who stopped Mr. Mongiardo for using his phone while driving smelled it anyway. A breathalyzer test showed Mr. Mongiardo’s blood alcohol content was .18 percent, more than twice the legal driving limit. It was his second drunken driving offense in two years, but these episodes of unexplained intoxication had begun decades earlier.” It turns out that some people can get drunk from the inside. Their bodies essentially make ethanol. And though that might sound fun, it’s anything but. It’s a brewing storm. “D.W.I.s, relationship problems, accusations of secret drinking: Auto-brewery syndrome can wreak havoc on people’s lives and reputations.” NYT (Gift Article): The Mystifying Syndrome That Makes People Spontaneously Drunk.

4

Weekend Whats

What to Read: Longtime readers have followed along with Robbi Behr and Matthew Swanson and their excellent Busload of Books program. They are also a very accomplished author and illustrator team, and their latest book couldn’t be better timed (or better reviewed). Take Lemony Snicket’s word for it: “Is there anything more exciting than a trip to the moon? Yes: This book.” Order Life on the Moon today. This one is going to be huge.

+ What to Movie: I’m still catching up on all the Oscar-nominated movies. I’ve got to say, my favorite one so far, by quite a bit, is Sentimental Value, now streaming on Hulu.

+ What to Banana: The Roastmaster General takes to Broadway and gets heartfelt in a funny, meaningful look at life, family, death, and, well, bananas. On Netflix, Jeff Ross: Take a Banana for the Ride.

5

Extra, Extra

Fill ‘Er Up: “Roughly half of global food production depends on synthetic nitrogen fertilizer. Without it, crop yields would tumble, pushing up prices of household staples including bread, rice, potatoes and pasta, and would also make animal feed more expensive. Some of the world’s poorest countries are among the most vulnerable to fertilizer price rises.” For some of those affected by the Iran war, filling up is not optional. ‘Food security timebomb’: a visual guide to the Gulf fertilizer blockade. (Whether we like it or not, we’re all interconnected.)

+ Bondi Voyage: “Bondi, a former attorney general of Florida, has presided over a department that has eagerly subordinated itself to President Donald Trump’s whims. That submission, made manifest by the banner of a glowering Trump that now hangs from the Department of Justice building, included seeking to bring baseless cases against Trump’s perceived political enemies, ordered up by the President himself; purging the department of career lawyers and F.B.I. agents deemed insufficiently loyal; and launching a belligerent campaign against ‘rogue judges’ who dared to challenge Administration actions.” The New Yorker: Pam Bondi’s Legacy of Flattery and Destruction. It still wasn’t enough. That’s why “her successor could be even more dangerous.” As I wrote yesterday: All that corruption, all that damage to the department and her own reputation in the name of loyalty—and what did it get her? A one-way ticket to eternal Pamnation. (Meanwhile, Trump’s personal defense attorney has taken over as Attorney General. He recently Shut Down Enforcement Against Crypto Companies While Holding More Than $150,000 in Crypto Investments. In other words, he’s perfectly qualified.)

+ Back At the Other War... “Ukrainian counteroffensives were one reason, as well as technological issues that have hindered battlefield communication: Starlink has cut Russia’s access to its satellite internet, and the Kremlin prevented its own troops from using the messaging app Telegram in favor of a state-run option.” Russia’s battlefield progress stalls entirely.

+ Who Would Have Predicted? The Trump administration to states: You can’t regulate prediction markets. (And this has nothing to do with Don Jr’s roles at Kalshi and Polymarket.)

+ Watch This Space: “SpaceX boosted its target IPO valuation above $2 trillion, according to people familiar with the matter, as the world’s most valuable startup gears up to pitch potentially the biggest-ever market debut.” That’s up from a valuation of $1.25 trillion way back in ... February. And I’m just a Humanities major, but that’s about 100 times 2026 projected revenue.

+ Sounds About Par for the Course: “Bodycam footage of Tiger Woods’s arrest for DUI shows the golfer looking surprised when he was handcuffed by police officers at the scene of a vehicle crash last week and telling a deputy he had spoken to ‘the president’ on the phone after the incident.”

6

Feel Good Friday

“Doctors believed that Woody Brown would never be able to speak or process language. He went to graduate school and is publishing his debut novel.” ‘I Thought I Would Be Caged My Whole Life.’

+ “Rounding a little-used pier with a hulking century-old building, he found an open garage door and peered inside. The building was cavernous, seemingly in good shape, and entirely empty. That’s all it took for Eggers, the Pulitzer finalist and conjurer of offbeat endeavors, to spin his way into another.” A Free Home for San Francisco Artists. (And another great program from the excellent, and indefatigable, Dave Eggers.)

+ NASA’s Artemis II has left Earth’s orbit, and 4 astronauts now head to the moon. (And they got a pretty nice shot of us.)

+ The economy added more jobs than expected in March.

+ Molly the border collie rescued after a week waiting for injured owner in New Zealand’s remote backcountry.

+ There’s a New Place to Store Greenhouse Gases: In Your Beer. (It’s gonna have to be a pretty large beer.)

+ Unsuspecting windsurfer collides with gray whale in San Francisco Bay. (Both escaped without injury...though this is not being covered as feel good news in the whale press.)

2

Rocket Man and Talk-It Man

“His address did not come across as a wartime speech but instead was a disjointed series of complaints, brags, and exaggerations (along with a few outright lies) delivered by a man who looked and sounded tired. After his 19 minutes on the air—brisk by Trump’s standards—Americans could be forgiven for being even more concerned now than they were only a few days ago.” Tom Nichols: Maybe Trump Should Not Have Given This Speech.

+ NYT (Gift Article): 5 Takeaways From Trump’s Address on Iran. With no new information and no clear exit plan, the speech seemed like a re-run of the press conferences and Truth Social posts we’ve been seeing for a while. So why give the prime time address? My theory: He just couldn’t let the rocket get all the attention.

+ “When we’re serious, we don’t say the opposite of what we said the day before every day, and maybe one shouldn’t speak every day.” Macron faults Trump for shifting U.S. goals and for hollowing out NATO with his attacks (and for comments about his marriage). Meanwhile Trump announces the bombing of major bridge near Tehran on his social media account. Here’s the latest from the NYT and The Guardian.

+ NYT (Gift Article): Every Trump Threat to Abandon NATO Hollows It Out. (One factor I haven’t seen mentioned is that the hollowing out of NATO will result in big-time weapons spending by allies who once thought they could count on us. Not that we’d ever alter a policy or take advantage of a crisis for financial gain. In other news: Company backed by Trump sons looks to sell drone interceptors to Gulf states being attacked by Iran.)

3

A Crisis of Biblical Proportions

“When they prayed on the Sunday after Valentine’s Day, as on other Sundays, most of the women at King’s Way Reformed Church in the old mining town of Prescott, Ariz., wore dainty kerchiefs knotted over their hair to show devotion to God. Marybelle East, 36, wore hers all the time, she said — seven days a week — ‘for him to see that I submit to his authority.’ Her husband’s authority, that is. Her head scarf is a physical reminder of biblical patriarchy, the kind of marriage the church preaches. ‘It keeps me from running my mouth,’ she said. To her and the other women, patriarchy also means ceding their political voices to their husbands. They believe America would be better off if women could not vote.” NYT (Gift Article): The Women Who Believe Women Should Lose the Right to Vote. “If a decade ago the idea was just another extreme provocation, today it is gaining adherents beyond the fringe.”

+ “You were betrayed and arrested and falsely accused. It’s a familiar pattern that our lord and savior showed us. But it didn’t end there for him, and it didn’t end there for you.” Trump’s Spiritual Adviser Faces Backlash After Comparing Him to Jesus.

4

The Cig is Up

“Smoking in the United States, at least according to official surveys, has plummeted to an historic low. Just 9.8 percent of Americans smoked in 2024, according to a report from the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, down from 10.8 percent the year before.” But you wouldn’t know that cigarettes were losing their cool by watching TV and movies. And you probably wouldn’t know it by hanging around in Hollywood. The Ankler: Cigarettes Get a Sequel: Hollywood’s ‘Cool’ Bad Habit Is Back.

5

Extra, Extra

In Fact It’s a Blast: “A towering orange-and-white NASA rocket blasted off from Florida on Wednesday evening, lifting four astronauts toward space and transporting spectators’ imaginations to a future in which Americans may again set foot on the moon ... ‘We have a beautiful moonrise and we’re headed right at it,” said Reid Wiseman, the NASA astronaut who is the commander of the mission.’” Artemis II Successfully Kicks Off 10-Day Lunar Mission. Here’s a look at the launch in photos, and from a pretty enthusiastic group watching from nearby. To follow along, you can watch NASA’s Artemis II Live Mission Coverage.

+ Muscular Build: “Hitler passed hours in the bunker complex studying table-size models of his future construction projects. Speer recalls sitting with Hitler as late as April 1945, the month of his suicide, while he pored over architectural projects that included a palatial residence that Hitler hoped to have completed by 1950, with an office that measured 960 square meters, 16 times the size of the old Reich chancellor office, and a dining room that could seat 1,000 guests.” The Atlantic (Gift Article): Hitler’s Edifice Complex. “He was obsessed with adding an expensive new wing to the Reich Chancellery, part of his grandiose architectural ambitions for the nation’s capital.” In other news... Trump appointee-led commission approves White House ballroom plans.

+ Betting the Over Down Under: “Australia said it would ban gambling advertisements featuring celebrities and limit online gambling advertisements to internet users over 18 from next year, an attempt to appease public health concerns but falling short of measures recommended by its own inquiry.”

+ Memory Storage: “It was so simple at the start. When Michael got into the game of flipping used goods, he just wanted to make some money. But the business of dealing in people’s abandoned possessions, it turns out, can be fraught. Two years into his pursuit, he knows all too well that every locker tells a story, many of them bleak.” A New Jersey Teen Finds Treasure, and More, in Abandoned Storage Units.

+ You Bet Your Assets: OpenAI closes record-breaking $122 billion funding round as anticipation builds for IPO. “Moments like this do not come often. The capital being deployed today is helping build the infrastructure layer for intelligence itself. Over time, that value will flow back into the economy, to companies, to communities, and increasingly to individuals.” Ooh, I can’t wait...

6

Bottom of the News

“Hershey said Wednesday it will use classic recipes for all Reese’s products starting next year, a change that comes after the grandson of Reese’s founder criticized the company for shifting to cheaper ingredients.”

April 1st is a day when people share stories that seem real until you realize they’re fake. That contrasts with every day in 2026 when we’re confronted with stories that seem like they must be fake until we realize, much to our chagrin, they’re real. Let’s go with a third option. Let’s forget, just for one blurb in one edition of this newsletter, all the craziness and distortions that dominate our streams and dreams, and focus instead on what, during normal times, would be the leading story of the day: one that includes some very out of fashion elements, such as positivity, science, human achievement, diversity, unity, a projectile fired into the sky that’s not intended to blow things up, and best of all, the glorious prospect of getting the hell out of here (like way out) for a few days. I know, I know, I’m asking for the moon. But it looks like I might get it (or at least close to it). Crowds are already gathering for the scheduled launch of Artemis II, a historic NASA mission that will shoot astronauts around the moon and back on a 10-day mission. I’m a mere Humanities major, but I’m told by the internet that following a violent collision between Earth and a protoplanet named Theia, the moon was formed from the ensuing debris. Well, one man’s trash is another man’s treasure. So let’s go check it out. It’s got to beat the garbage we’re dealing with down here...

+ “Before taking his last steps on the moon, NASA astronaut Gene Cernan made sure to scratch his young daughter’s initials into the lunar dust. He had some parting thoughts for the rest of humanity, too. ‘We leave as we came and, God willing, as we shall return, with peace and hope for all mankind,’ the Apollo 17 commander said before departing for Earth. That was December 1972. Now, more than half a century later, NASA may be about to fulfill Cernan’s wishes.”

+ “Their path through space could send the group farther from Earth than any human has ever ventured, surpassing the Apollo 13 distance record of 248,655 miles set in 1970.” Even though the celebration of the crew’s diversity (across race, gender, and even Canadian lines) has been deleted from government websites, it can’t be deleted from reality. Meet NASA’s Artemis II astronauts.

+ And now that you’ve met them, let’s get to know how they’ll go to the bathroom. SciAm: Artemis II’s toilet is a moon mission milestone. And a short video from BBC: “When you’re in zero gravity, how do you go to the toilet? That’s what Nasa scientists have spent more than $23 million figuring out in time for the launch of Artemis II later this week.” (I spent nearly that much on a Toto Washlet...)

+ Photos: Counting Down to the Launch of Artemis II.

+ Here’s the latest from NBC and NASA.

2

Deal or No Deal

Of course, no one would possibly try to preempt coverage of a unifying human effort like a literal moonshot. Yeah, and the moon is made of cheese. President Trump has scheduled an Oval Office address around the same time as the Artemis II launch to provide an update on the Iran war. (After exploring space, NASA should increase the range of its rocket and try to explore the far reaches of Trump’s ego.) Ahead of the speech, Trump said Iran has asked for a ceasefire. Iran says it hasn’t. Meanwhile, Trump says he’s definitely considering leaving NATO. Here’s the latest from The Guardian and NYT.

+ There have been a variety of war goals that have come and gone, but getting rid of Iran’s ability to make nuclear weapons has always been at the top of the list. Has it been achieved? David E. Sanger in the NYT (Gift Article): Iran Maintains Nuclear Capacities Despite Trump’s Claim of U.S. Success.

+ Thomas Friedman in the NYT (Gift Article): “If this were not the leadership of my own country — and if Iran were not, indeed, the most destabilizing force in the Middle East and its transformation not a worthy goal for its own people and its neighbors — I’d just sit back and watch the show, savoring the spectacle of Trump getting what he deserves. But it is my country. Iran going nuclear is a threat that could unleash nuclear proliferation all across the Middle East. And we are all going to get what Trump deserves.”

+ “Rarely has a president been surrounded by such an array of toadies and lickspittles, operating beyond their competence in an atmosphere of organizational chaos.” Eliot A. Cohen in The Atlantic (Gift Article): Lions Led by Donkeys.

3

Birthright and Wrong

“In a post on his social media site, Trump says falsely the United States is the ‘only Country in the World STUPID enough to allow Birthright” Citizenship!’ In fact, the United States is one of more than 30 countries that confer citizenship at birth with no conditions.” (Since America has the world’s leading economy and military, wouldn’t our citizenship policies be considered pretty SMART!) Trump attended part of the SCOTUS oral arguments (becoming the first president to do so). Let’s hope the act of intimidation (and the ridiculous arguments) don’t carry the day. Key Justices Appear Skeptical of Limiting Birthright Citizenship.

4

Breaking Out of a Slump

“On phone calls over the past couple of weeks, we talked about cheating commissioners and deadbeat team owners, about booze- and weed-fueled draft rooms and end-of-season punishments for league losers. We talked about how difficult it can be to make small talk with other parents at the playground, about the ways relationships wither as we age. We talked, to a shocking degree, about death.” The Fantasy Baseball Ties That Bind. “How do fantasy sports leagues fit into the larger story of the male loneliness epidemic? You might be surprised.” (The Giants have won two in a row. That’s all the fantasy I need...)

5

Extra, Extra

How Will the Crude Feud Conclude? “If there’s irony here, it’s the tragic kind. The administration’s war of choice has made energy dangerously expensive in nearly every corner of the globe, causing needless suffering. The most fossil fuel-friendly government in recent U.S. history has shown us all just how risky reliance on oil and gas can be — and taught the world that true energy security lies in accelerating toward a cleaner, electrified future.” This Energy Crisis Is Going to Change the World. (We can hope...)

+ Swindler’s List: Proof that no headlines can shock us anymore: Federal Judge Approves Trump Effort to Obtain List of Jews From Penn. (I won’t even release the names of the Jews coming to my seder tonight.)

+ They’re Not Being Campy: You may view the phrase alpha male as ironic or funny, but “there are plenty of American men these days who regard alpha masculinity—or ‘warrior mode,’ or ‘modern knighthood,’ or other such appellations—not ironically but aspirationally. There are now programs offering to help such men achieve these aspirations, or something close ... At the Men of War Crucible, you bear-crawl through rivers. At Warrior Week, you dig your own grave.” The New Yorker: The Camps Promising to Turn You—or Your Son—Into an Alpha Male. (And I thought I had it bad going away to camps that made you want to never go to camp again...)

+ Noemenclatures: “These men all knew Bryon Noem as the nice, tall insurance salesman who married Kristi Arnold, the town beauty queen who grew up to be governor. But now there were these pictures.” NYT (Gift Article): In South Dakota, Neighbors Feel Sorry for Kristi Noem’s Husband. (I sort of felt sorry for him before the pictures.)

+ Kid Gloves: Hegseth reverses Army’s suspension of aircrew who flew helicopters near Kid Rock’s home. “No punishment. No investigation, Carry on, patriots.” (I haven’t heard that line since Deflategate...)

+ Masters and Disasters: Tiger Woods says he’ll seek treatment after pleading not guilty to DUI.

+ Boss > King: “This past winter, federal troops brought death and terror to the streets of Minneapolis. Well they picked the wrong town. The power, the solidarity of the people of Minneapolis, of Minnesota, was an inspiration to the entire country. Your strength and your commitment told us this is still America. And this will not stand.” To kick off his tour, Bruce Springsteen Brings Fiery Speeches and Songs to Minneapolis. (He really couldn’t be rising to the occasion any more than he is.)

6

Bottom of the News

As I argue annually, April Fool’s Day pranks should have been canceled after the greatest one of them all. George Plimpton: The Curious Case Of Sidd Finch.

+ And to all who celebrate, have a good Passover Seder. And good luck this week…

2

Conversion Reversion

“Colorado may regard its policy as essential to public health and safety. But the First Amendment stands as a shield against any effort to enforce orthodoxy in thought or speech in this country.” So wrote Justice Neil M. Gorsuch as the Supreme Court Rejected a Colorado Law Banning ‘Conversion Therapy’ for L.G.B.T.Q. Minors. “Only Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson dissented, reading a lengthy summary of her opposition from the bench ... ‘This decision might make speech-only therapies and other medical treatments involving practitioner speech effectively unregulatable,’ she wrote, criticizing her eight colleagues for having made ‘this momentous decision without adequately grappling with the potential long-term and disastrous implications.’”

3

Pump Your Own Gas

“You’ll have to start learning how to fight for yourself, the U.S.A. won’t be there to help you anymore, just like you weren’t there for us. Iran has been, essentially, decimated. The hard part is done. Go get your own oil!” Trump tells Europe ‘Go get your own oil,’ Iran hits oil tanker off Dubai. Meanwhile, Trump said to tell aides he’s willing to end Iran war without reopening Hormuz. Are these mood swings and outbursts part of a broader pullback? The market seems to think so. (But as I’ve written, like everything else, the market has been a little off lately...)

+ “After private grumbling at the start of the war that they were not given adequate advance notice of the U.S.-Israeli attack and complaining the U.S. had ignored their warnings that the war would have devastating consequences for the entire region, some of the regional allies are making the case to the White House that the moment offers a historic opportunity to cripple Tehran’s clerical rule once and for all.” Gulf allies privately make the case to Trump to keep fighting until Iran is decisively defeated.

+ B-52s have started flying missions over Iran, and Israel is creating a larger buffer zone in Lebanon. Here’s the latest from NYT and The Guardian.

4

To Some Degree

“The report, based on research from the Yale Tobin Center for Economic Policy, found that graduate degrees in medicine, law and pharmacy generally have the highest return on investment. By contrast, degrees in popular fields such as social work, psychology, and curriculum and instruction may actually have a zero to negative return after factoring in the full cost.” WaPo(Gift Article): Some of the most popular graduate degrees don’t pay off financially, study finds. (I’m still confident that my PhD in Newsletters will pay off eventually...)

5

Extra, Extra

Refined Crude Policy: “The Trump administration has blocked energy shipments to Cuba since January as part of a strategy to force the Communist government into submission. Mr. Trump said in a January social media post: ‘THERE WILL BE NO MORE OIL OR MONEY GOING TO CUBA — ZERO!’” So what made him change his mind as a Russian tanker full of crude approached Cuba? After Months of Threats, Trump Softens His Stance on Blocking Oil to Cuba.

+ Space Needs Some Space: Space might need a rebrand, because it’s getting really crowded up there. “Today, the space around Earth can no longer be considered empty. More than 30,000 objects are in orbit, and that figure is rising exponentially.” ‘This feels fragile’: how a satellite-smashing chain reaction could spiral out of control.

+ Meditation Retreat: “The leader of a sex-focused women’s wellness company that promoted ‘orgasmic meditation’ was sentenced to nine years in federal prison for a scheme that a judge said exploited vulnerable women and coerced them into performing sex acts with the company’s clients and investors.”

+ Plot Twist: Given the seemingly nonstop stream of new shows appearing across the many streaming apps, you’d think this would be a golden era for those working in Hollywood. But that’s not how the script is playing out. See How Hollywood’s Job Market Is Collapsing. “Hollywood studios are making significantly fewer movies and television shows than they did just a few years ago. The ones they do make are increasingly being shot in other countries and states that offer more generous tax subsidies. The result: a 30% drop in employment from a late-2022 peak for actors, carpenters, costumers and the hundreds of other professions that make movies and TV shows.”

+ Dis Service: “ICE agents will be stationed outside graduation events for the nation’s newest Marines to identify whether any of their family members are undocumented, according to the Marine Corps.”

+ California Rolling: Everyone is getting sticker shock at the gas pumps these days. Californians know the feeling. We get it all the time. There are a few reasons why we pay more than the rest of you. The Difference Between California-Produced Gas And The Other 49 States.

+ Getting Rock Off: “The army has launched an administrative review after two AH-64 Apache helicopters on a training run hovered near the hillside home of Kid Rock as the outspoken supporter of Donald Trump saluted their crews.” (Maybe they were trying to drown out the music?)

+ There’s No Sugar Substitute: “Spectators would watch the furry white canine in amazement as she balanced on her surfboard, riding wave after wave back to the shore, sometimes with her owner, Ryan Rustan, by her side and other times all on her own.” Sugar The Surfing Dog, the first canine inducted into the Surfer’s Hall of Fame, dies.

6

Bottom of the News

“On Saturday afternoon, Downey joined around 200 strangers at Ocean Beach for the 13th ‘Hole Party,’ a loosely organized gathering dedicated to the ancient, questionably productive act of digging.” SF’s most pointless gathering is surprisingly popular. Basically, a bunch of people meet at the beach where they dig a giant hole and then fill it back in. (Maybe they’re training to be news curators...)

+ A college instructor turns to typewriters to curb AI-written work and teach life lessons.

2

We Haven’t Shuffled Off This Mortal Oil

With 50,000 American troops in the Middle East and a threat of a ground war, even Trump doesn’t know what to believe about what Trump is saying. “President Trump zigzagged from claims of diplomatic progress to renewed threats of destruction on Monday, sending new shocks through oil markets as he sought to pressure Iran to make a deal to end the monthlong war.” Here’s the latest from the NYT.

+ “Australian farmers are planting less wheat. South Koreans were urged to take shorter showers. Russia is getting a little richer. Thailand’s premier wore short-sleeved shirts to work and urged others to do the same.” How the Iran War Has Rippled Across the World. One thing we’re seeing is reduced consumption. But a bigger thing we’re seeing is the burning of more coal. This Is What Happens When the Gas Runs Out. So this must be good for the EV industry, right? Well, not so fast. “The aluminum that gives electric vehicles their range is now stuck behind the same choke point as the oil they were built to replace.”

+ Meanwhile, oil is up again on the entrance into the war by “the Houthis, an Iran-backed proxy militia based in Yemen, threatening safety in the Bab el-Mandeb Strait between Yemen and Djibouti.”

+ And here’s a twist: Ukraine Finalizes Air Defense Deals With Gulf Nations Amid War in Mideast. “In the Mideast conflict, Ukraine has sought to shift its image from a recipient of military aid to a supplier. It sees an opening to export its low-cost, innovative designs created during the war with Russia to compensate for shortages of weapons and ammunition. Ukraine’s military often relies on consumer technologies such as virtual-reality goggles for gamers and off-the-shelf drone components.”

3

Over the Moon

“Artemis II is something of an elaborate dress rehearsal. The goal is to demonstrate that many of the major components of the Artemis program – the Boeing-built Space Launch System rocket and the Lockheed Martin-built Orion space capsule – can safely send a crew beyond the moon and back.” Bloomberg (Gift Article) with an illustrated guide to what NASA is up to, and why. Around the Moon and Back.

4

Kingdom Comeuppance

We may have crossed a critical threshold over the weekend. The protests are spreading faster than the measles. Organizers said eight million people turned out for the No Kings protests. The scenes were amazing. Here’s a collection of Photos From the Third Nationwide ‘No Kings’ Protest.

5

Extra, Extra

Rogue Won: “Whenever and however America’s war with Iran ends, it has both exposed and exacerbated the dangers of our new, fractured, multipolar reality—driving deeper wedges between the United States and former friends and allies; strengthening the hands of the expansionist great powers, Russia and China; accelerating global political and economic chaos; and leaving the United States weaker and more isolated than at any time since the 1930s. Even success against Iran will be hollow if it hastens the collapse of the alliance system that for eight decades has been the true source of America’s power, influence, and security.” Robert Kagen: America Is Now a Rogue Superpower.

+ Making a List: “When I started Craigslist in the mid-1990s I never thought I’d become rich. But I did. A lot of people in tech around that time also got lucky. Millions — even billions — were made simply by being in the right place at the right time. That’s too much money for anyone to have, so I’m giving most of it away to people and causes that need it.” Craigslist Made Me Rich. Giving the Money Away Is Easy. (Amidst all the whining from tech billionaires who somehow view themselves as being victimized by this era, it’s refreshing to hear someone admit how f--cking lucky we are.)

+ Aiding and A Betting: “A new product liability lawsuit alleges that the online sportsbooks DraftKings and FanDuel use a variety of sophisticated tactics to addict users, comparing their offerings to tobacco, cocaine, and heroin. The case, filed by the Public Health Advocacy Institute (PHAI) at Northeastern University School of Law on behalf of two former gamblers, is being led by Richard Daynard — the same lawyer who secured a $206 billion settlement from the tobacco industry ... Specifically, the plaintiffs allege that the two companies ‘capture every aspect of a customer’s interaction in real-time through automated analytical tools, and then process the data through predictive algorithms to generate bets that are optimized to stimulate compulsive gambling.’”

+ This Guy’s Got Some Ballroom: “Critics warn it still has many issues — its portico is too big, its stairs lead nowhere, its columns will block views from inside the ballroom.” Trump’s Ballroom Design Has Barely Been Scrutinized.

+ Sheer Madness: March seemed a little short on madness (at least on the basketball court). But then we saw one of the maddest moments of all. The Athletic: I witnessed Christian Laettner’s shot. UConn’s game-winner from Braylon Mullins was better.

+ Welcome to Macintosh: “But in almost every way that mattered, the Macintosh was right. Right about how we’d use computers going forward. Right about the idea that computers needed to be less complicated. Right about the fact that caring this deeply about both hardware and software design would make a difference.” As part of its series on Apple at 50, The Verge (Gift Article) with a video review of how the Macintosh changed computers forever. (It definitely had the same effect on me as it had on computers.)

+ Timbre-land: At the start of the year, Anthony Palmini was taken down by a terrible cold. That was bad news for him. And potentially bad news for romance. He’s the voice of romantasy audiobooks’ biggest heartthrobs.

6

Bottom of the News

“In our peptides-pumping, cosmetic-surgery obsessed world, Alloclae is being marketed as the latest body-buffing hack for anyone seeking to level up their appearance. The process is minimally invasive and largely safe, as long as you can get your head around where that extra va-voom has come from.” People are pumping themselves with fat from corpses to perk up their pecs, boobs and butts. (How’d you like to agree to be a donor and end up there?)

+ Thieves make a break with over 400,000 KitKat bars in Europe.

2

Strait Up Now Tell Me

“For the better part of the past year, Wall Street analysts and tech-industry observers have fretted publicly about an AI bubble. The fear is that too much money is coming in too fast and that generative-AI companies still have not offered anything close to a viable business model. If growth were to stall or the technology were to be seen as failing to deliver on its promises, the bubble might burst, triggering a chain reaction across the financial system. Everyone—big banks, private-equity firms, people who have no idea what’s mixed into their 401(k)—would be hit by the AI crash. Until recently, that kind of crash felt hypothetical; today, it feels plausible and, to some, almost inevitable.” The Atlantic (Gift Article) on how the Iran war might trigger some big economic problems (beyond the ones you’re already thinking about): Welcome to a Multidimensional Economic Disaster.

+ As per usual, while some people are worried about tech advancement and portfolio returns, others are worried about less lofty pursuits; like eating. NYT (Gift Article): Global Food Supply Faces a Dangerous Bottleneck as Iran War Persists. “Fertilizer prices are climbing as a result of disruptions in the Middle East, putting global food supplies at risk.”

3

Breaking Ground

“Donald Trump announced this week that the United States and Iran had made significant progress in negotiations, and he was allowing five days to reach a deal. Tehran denied that it was talking with Washington at all. This is not, in any meaningful sense, a negotiation: It is a countdown. The timing is not coincidental. Thousands of Marines and much of the 1st Brigade of the 82nd Airborne are en route to the Middle East. Trump may intend the talks to act as cover for an escalation decision already made. Even if he doesn’t, the structural reality is the same: When the deadline expires, he will be close to having significant ground-combat capability in the region and a collapsing diplomatic process to justify using it.” Thomas Wright in The Atlantic (Gift Article): The Countdown to a Ground War.

+ Or, maybe not? “[Trump] is getting a little bored with Iran ... Not that he regrets it or something — he’s just bored and wants to move on.” Inside the White House divide on Iran.

+ “Secretary of State Marco Rubio said on Friday that the United States did not need to deploy ground troops to succeed in the war in Iran, which he said would end within weeks rather than months, even as Iran moved to assert its control over the critical Strait of Hormuz.” But does anyone believe Rubio is the decider on any of this stuff? Just read this craziness. “Mr. Rubio told reporters in Paris that the United States had not received a formal response from Iran to President Trump’s 15-point plan for ending the war. Mr. Trump has said that peace talks are underway and going well, but Iranian officials have said that contacts between the two countries have been minimal and mostly indirect, not yet amounting to real negotiations.” Here’s the latest from the NYT.

4

Weekend Whats

What to Watch: “A century before the events of Game of Thrones, two unlikely heroes wander Westeros in the new series adapted from George R. R. Martin’s novella.” A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms on HBO is an awesome watch, and a great addition to the Game of Thrones world.

+ What to Hear: Last night, I took my guitar-playing teen to see the great Record Company in concert. They’re out celebrating the tenth anniversary of their Give It Back to You Album. But they’re best seen live. About thirty seconds into last night’s show, my son looked over and nodded in approval. For his old dad, that’s about as rock n’ roll as it gets.

+ What to Movie: “Marcelo (Wagner Moura) is a researcher on the run from mercenary killers after becoming the target of a dictator’s political tumult in 1977 Brazil.” The Secret Agent takes place in the 70s and unfurls at a 70s movie pace, so it’s perfect for a daytime watch on Hulu. Parts of it are also, sadly, a little too familiar.

+ What to Read: “It has also occluded something deeper: the human decisions that led to the killing of between 175 and 180 people, most of them girls between the ages of seven and 12. Someone decided to compress the kill chain. Someone decided that deliberation was latency. Someone decided to build a system that produces 1,000 targeting decisions an hour and call them high-quality. Someone decided to start this war. Several hundred people are sitting on Capitol Hill, refusing to stop it. Calling it an ‘AI problem’ gives those decisions, and those people, a place to hide.” AI got the blame for the Iran school bombing. The truth is far more worrying. (The fact that we’ve moved on from this story and only worry about gas prices is also pretty worrying...)

5

Extra, Extra

Fly By Night Outfits: The Senate passed a bill to get the TSA funding restarted. The House needs to pass something, and that could be tricky. In the meantime, the lines are getting longer. Here’s the latest from AP.

+ Black Diamond Level Warming: “Vital Arctic sea ice shrank to tie its lowest measured level for the winter, the season when ice grows.” Closer to home, ski resorts try ‘snow farming‘ as temperatures rise. “The practice involves making snow when conditions are ideal — in cold, dry weather— and piling it two to three stories high, then covering the mound with a large, insulated mat to shield it from sun and rain.”

+ Devaluing the Dollar: “Mr. Trump is set to become the first sitting U.S. president to have his signature on the greenback. His name will appear alongside that of Treasury Secretary Scott Bessent. As a result, the U.S. treasurer, whose name has been on the currency for more than a century, will not appear on the currency.” Trump’s Signature Is Set to Be Added to America’s Currency. (How’s he gonna sign the dollar? Sorry for your loss?)

+ Star Wars: “Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth’s highly unusual decision to remove officers from a one-star promotion list has spurred allegations of racial and gender bias.” Hegseth Strikes Two Black and Two Female Officers From Promotion List.

+ Yay! Wait... TechDirt’s Mike Masnik is worried about the latest big tech court rulings. “First things first: Meta is a terrible company that has spent years making terrible decisions and being terrible at explaining the challenges of social media trust & safety, all while prioritizing growth metrics over user safety.” But... Everyone Cheering The Social Media Addiction Verdicts Against Meta Should Understand What They’re Actually Cheering For.

+ Jerk Chickens: “OpenAI has put the kibosh on yet another project — at least for the time being. On Thursday, the Financial Times reported that the AI company would be ‘indefinitely’ pausing plans to develop an ‘erotic’ mode for ChatGPT.” (Oh well, you’ve still got NextDraft...)

6

Feel Good Friday

“During the 10 years when she cleaned the medical institution, her mother became ill, and Taylor-Allen realized she wanted to advocate for patients the same way doctors helped her mother.” Woman Matches into Residency at Same Hospital Where She Worked as a Janitor for 10 Years. And more on the story: After a decade as a Yale hospital janitor, she is now a doctor there.

+ “You want to try to meet the moment. The No Kings movement is of great import right now. When you have the opportunity to sing something where the timing is essential and if you have something powerful to sing, it elevates the moment, it elevates your job to another level. And I’m always in search of that ... I don’t worry about [blowback]. My job is very simple: I do what I want to do, I say what I want to say and then people get to say what they want to say about it. Those are the rules of my game. That’s fine with me.” The Boss gets you warmed up for No Kings rallies this weekend. Springsteen says recent Minneapolis show was his most meaningful ever.

+ Tango Therapy: How the Dance of Passion Is Helping Parkinson’s Patients. Plus, “I thought my Parkinson’s was the end of my life, but dancing changed everything.”

+ A new labor agreement represents a breakthrough in women’s-sports history. The WNBA Players Got What They Wanted.

+ Scientists Filmed a Whale Birth. The Surprise: Mom Had Many Helpers.

+ Stranded couple rescued from Oahu floods after writing ‘SOS’ on beach.

2

Call Stall

“The kids are a little different here in Greystones. In 2023, the Irish seaside town just south of Dublin launched a grass-roots initiative led by local parents, school principals and community members to loosen the grip of technology on their younger kids by adopting a voluntary ‘no smart devices’ code and supporting it with workshops and social events. Three years later, no one in Greystones claims to have cured the ills of modern technology. But they’ve learned that they can’t do anything about it one child at a time. Only a townwide effort could defang the kids’ ‘everyone else has one’ argument.’ ‘With social media, it’s a collective thing,’ said Jennifer Whitmore, a member of Irish parliament and a Greystones mother of four. ‘Addressing it in a clustered manner is the way to go.’” NYT (Gift Article): A Phone-Free Childhood? One Irish Village Is Making It Happen. (Wait, how do they execute family-wide group orders on DoorDash...)

3

Blockade Blocks Aid

“The U.S. oil blockade on Cuba is fast exhausting the country’s supply of fuel, causing daily blackouts, food shortages, canceled classes and black-market gas prices approaching $40 a gallon. It is also crippling Cuba’s universal health care system, a state institution once considered a triumph for a poor nation, but is now struggling to provide basic care. In interviews, six Cuban doctors said that rapidly deteriorating conditions at hospitals and clinics across Cuba were causing deaths that would otherwise be preventable.” In theory, this blockade is intended to weaken the current government and ultimately make life better for Cubans. That was also part of the reasoning for the war in Iran. But somehow, things don’t always seem to work out for the citizens supposedly being helped. NYT (Gift Article): Cuban Patients Are Dying Because of U.S. Blockade, Doctors Say.

4

Asking for Oral

“It’s a testing method as old as Socrates and making a comeback in the AI age. A growing number of college professors say they are turning to oral exams, and combining a variety of old-fashioned and cutting-edge techniques, to help address a crisis in higher education. ‘You won’t be able to AI your way through an oral exam,’ says Schaffer, who introduced the oral defense last semester.” Perfect homework, blank stares: Why colleges are turning to oral exams to combat AI.

5

Extra, Extra

+ God Help Us: “Let every round find its mark against the enemies of righteousness and our great nation ... Give them wisdom in every decision, endurance for the trial ahead, unbreakable unity, and overwhelming violence of action against those who deserve no mercy.” At Pentagon Christian service, Hegseth prays for violence ‘against those who deserve no mercy.’ (This guy is like Robert McNamara speaking in tongues.) Hegseth’s prayers have been answered, over and over, in the Caribbean. U.S. Military Kills 4 People in Boat Strike.

+ A Peace of Work: “I read a story today that I’m desperate to make a deal. I’m the opposite of desperate. I don’t care.” And with that, here’s the latest on the Iran war and what may or may not be peace talks that may or may not be happening. Trump may not care, but you can bet Zelensky does. Pentagon considers diverting Ukraine military aid to the Middle East. This would be more good news for Putin. Meanwhile ... Russia sends drones to Iran according to Western intelligence.

+ Error Port: “While a traveler’s struggle to stay sane in a crowded airport is not for the weak-willed, it doesn’t compare to the hardships facing agents trying to pay bills and feed a family without a regular paycheck for six weeks and counting. Some have been sleeping in their cars at the airport to save on gas. Others have lost child care. Some face eviction.” And in a uniquely 2026 irony, the suffering TSA agents are being replaced by ICE (the organization at the heart of the Congressional TSA funding standoff). WaPo (Gift Article): A new nightmare awaits Americans at the airport. “Immigration agents with little public trust and training add to stress of flying for Americans.” Meanwhile, travelers flock to Clear security app to bypass TSA lines amid US airport chaos.

+ Crime Pays: “The Justice Department has settled for roughly $1.2 million a lawsuit from Michael Flynn, the former national security adviser to President Donald Trump who pleaded guiltyduring the Republican’s first term to lying to the FBI about his conversations with a top Russian diplomat and was later pardoned.”

+ Fitness Test: “The International Olympic Committee has barred transgender athletes from competing in the women’s category of the Olympics and said that all participants in those events must undergo genetic testing.”

+ A Sure Thing Bet: “Indeed, why not let people gamble on whether there will be a famine in Gaza? The market logic is cold and simple: More bets means more information, and more informational volume is more efficiency in the marketplace of all future happenings. But from another perspective—let’s call it, baseline morality?—the transformation of a famine into a windfall event for prescient bettors seems so grotesque as to require no elaboration.” Derek Thompson: We Haven’t Seen the Worst of What Gambling and Prediction Markets Will Do to America.

+ Let’s Chill For a Second: “Carlos Osorio, a photojournalist with Reuters, recently traveled to Canada’s northern reaches to document military exercises, daily life, robotic testing, wildlife, and more.” Scenes From the Canadian Arctic.

6

Bottom of the News

“For nearly 50 years, the Annapolis Oyster Roast & Sock Burning has marked the long-awaited return of warmer days to the East Coast boating hub — and time for sailing season to begin again.” Decades ago, a Maryland sailor burned his winter socks. Now it’s a spring tradition.

+ Damaged church floor may have revealed the grave of the fourth musketeer.

2

Thou Dost Protest Too Little

Earlier this week, Patti Smith, Bruce Springsteen, and Michael Stipe performed at Democracy Now’s 30th Anniversary event. While I’m inspired that many musical legends have risen to the moment (and can’t wait for Springsteen’s Land of Hope and Dreams tour to arrive in San Francisco), I worry that what we’re seeing isn’t exactly a youth movement. (And no, you can’t count Neil Young as a Young person.) Why are the college students and other young people who were so fired up to protest an Israel-Hamas battle on the other side of the world largely sitting on their hands when it comes to the dismantling of American democracy, including the betrayal of allies, the killing of Americans, and what appears to be a strategy-free war of choice? Rose Horowitch in The Atlantic (Gift Article) attempts to give a few answers to that question (though I imagine there are many more). Where Are All the Campus Protests?

+ At universities, are we seeing more knee-bending than fist raising? Boston University Pulls Pride Flags, Raising Free Speech Worries.

3

Let’s Tray Table the Issue

“Almost everywhere you look, there’s airline trouble. A tragic crash at LaGuardia Airport. Long lines at airport security. Thousands of cancellations because of bad weather in Dallas and Atlanta. Higher prices. More proposed airline mergers. And a spate of near misses in the sky. You could blame human error or partisan fights in Washington for some of these issues, but there is a deeper story behind the turbulence: Nearly half a century ago, the U.S. government abandoned its position that regulation and investment were critical elements for America’s transportation infrastructure.” Ganesh Sitaraman in the NYT (Gift Article): This Is Why Flying Is So Awful.

4

Will They Reap the Harvest?

“I’ve heard all the arguments both for and against legalizing online gambling. What I think is missing from that conversation is the fact that it’s not really just gambling online that has been legalized. What has been legalized is extraction, and the new methods of extraction that are possible using the internet and mobile devices. These companies have identified a group of people with a monetizable compulsion, and we have legalized the tools needed to industrially harvest money from them.” Defector: Why I Got Out Of The Gambling Business.

5

Extra, Extra

Platform Over Function: “What makes the Los Angeles case unique is that, rather than trying to persuade the jury that the content on Meta and YouTube is harmful, the plaintiff’s attorneys framed the case around the actual design of the social media platforms.” Meta, YouTube found negligent in landmark social media addiction lawsuit. This is the second big tech-related decision this week. “A New Mexico jury determined Tuesday that Meta knowingly harmed children’s mental health and concealed what it knew about child sexual exploitation on its social media platforms, a verdict that signals a changing tide against tech companies and the government’s willingness to crack down.”

+ A Peace of Work: “Various news agencies and Iranian state media have reported that Tehran has responded ‘negatively’ to the US proposal to end the war, but there are contradictory statements over whether it has rejected it outright. Reuters news agency, citing a senior Iranian official, reported that Tehran’s initial response to the proposal was ‘not positive’ but that it was still reviewing it. That is at odds with a report by the Iranian state-owned Press TV, which quoted a senior political security official saying Tehran has rejected the proposal, while putting forward its own conditions to end the war. Meanwhile, Iran’s semi-official Fars news agency, citing a ‘knowledegable source’, reported that Tehran will not accept a ceasefire and believes it would not be ‘logical’ to enter talks.” In other words, the peace talks are as confusing as the war has been. Here’s the latest from The Guardian and AP.

+ Putin New Perspective: “In February, something shifted. Mr. Putin began, suddenly, to pay attention to the flagging economy. There were even signs he might be changing his mind on negotiations with Ukraine, perhaps seeking an exit from the conflict. Then came the war in Iran.” For Putin, the War in Iran Changed Everything.

+ Blue Devil and Red Devil: “As a boy, Majok Bior escaped a country engulfed in war. As a gifted student, he won a full scholarship to Duke University and looked toward a dazzling future. Bior studied computer science at the North Carolina campus during his freshman year and was a winger on an intramural soccer team. After finishing the fall semester of his sophomore year, Bior returned to Uganda for winter break. He played chess with friends and recounted the brutal winters and demands of chemistry class. Then President Trump began to ban students from Africa, starting with South Sudan where Bior was born. He hasn’t returned to campus since.” WSJ (Gift Article): He Had a Full Ride at Duke—Until America Cut Him Off. (Feel safer?)

+ Lactose Intolerant: “The video was meant to show that the U.S. military, which for months has bombed boats it says are carrying drugs from South America, was ‘now bombing Narco Terrorists on land,’ Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth wrote on social media.” NYT (Gift Article): The U.S. Said It Helped Bomb a Drug Camp. It Was a Dairy Farm.

+ Viewfinder: Wapo (Gift Article): In Trump’s war messaging, veterans see something new — and disturbing. “Service members and families who lost loved ones say the Trump team’s memes and jokes trivialize combat and sacrifice. Trump aides say the backlash sends views soaring.” (And these days, what matters more than views?)

+ Resort Re-Sorted “Democrat Emily Gregory won a special election Tuesday for the Florida state House district that includes President Donald Trump’s Mar-a-Lago resort, flipping the seat from Republican control.”

6

Bottom of the News

“In a social media post, the fire department said cleanup has been slow as the Missouri Department of Transportation works with the truck company’s insurance carrier.” Wrecked truck carrying tofu stinks up Missouri town.

+ Travelers passing through Philadelphia International Airport on Tuesday may have expected long security lines. But the longest line was made of cheesesteaks.

2

Derrick and the Dominos

And I said, “Hey kid, you think that’s oil? Man, that ain’t oil, that’s blood.” Bruce Springsteen, Lost in the Flood.

As “the founding director of the Center on Global Energy Policy at Columbia University’s School of International and Public Affairs and a co-founding dean of the Columbia Climate School” (and a very serious Bruce Springsteen fan), there are few people who understand the global energy market better than Jason Bordoff. Thankfully, Jason also excels at explaining energy issues in clear terms that the rest of us can understand. Since energy, particularly the oil that used to travel through the Strait of Hormuz, is now at the core of the Iran war, it’s a good time to catch up on what’s happening and what’s at stake. Ezra Klein interviewed Jason Bordoff earlier this week on his podcast. NYT(Gift Article): What Happens if 20 Percent of the World’s Oil Disappears? “The Gulf — the Middle East — we all know, since the 1970s, is a huge energy producer: Iraq, Saudi Arabia, the United Arab Emirates, Iran, of course. All of that oil, most of it, flows by tanker through this very narrow strait that juts like a little triangle around a corner, and it’s right where Iran is. So it doesn’t take that much with some drones or explosives in a dinghy boat racing out to a tanker ... You’re talking about a disruption of about 10 million barrels of oil, maybe a little bit more — so more than 10 percent of global supply. During the Arab oil embargo in 1973, in contrast, you saw about 6 or 7 percent of world supply disrupted. So this is by far the largest energy supply disruption we have ever seen.” (You’ll have to read or listen to the end for the Springsteen-related tips...)

+ For most of the world, the oil and energy wars are creating chaos, concern, and higher prices. For some people, the massive price swings, often driven by presidential tweets, present quite the opportunity. “Traders bet hundreds of millions of dollars on oil contracts just minutes before US President Donald Trump announced on Monday that the US would postpone strikes against Iranian energy infrastructure. Market data reviewed by the BBC shows the volume of trade spiked around fifteen minutes before a social media post by the president announcing the move.”

+ “Trump’s sudden climb-down was startling. Who could have seen this coming? The answer is, the person or people who bought large quantities of stock market futures and sold large quantities of oil futures around 15 minutes before Trump’s announcement.” Paul Krugman: Treason in the Futures Markets.

+ How will the market respond to the instability and madness spreading from the Oval Office across the globe? You’d think it would be concerned. But, as I explained yesterday, it’s a Bull---- Market.

3

All Bets Are On

“Senators Adam Schiff (D-CA) and John Curtis (R-UT) introduced a bill on Monday that could prevent prediction market platforms Kalshi and Polymarket from allowing users to wager money on sports events or play casino-style games.” Don Jr. has financial relationships with both leading prediction markets, so it’s unlikely that we’ll see them reined in anytime soon. Meanwhile, while people love sports betting, they’re quickly getting used to betting on everything. David Wallace-Wells on The Casino That’s Eating the World. “’The long-term vision is to financialize everything and create a tradable asset out of any difference in opinion,’ Tarek Mansour, the chief executive of another major prediction market, Kalshi, declared in November. But who wants this future, besides perhaps inveterate gamblers and those people who profit off them?” (Bingo. And I mean Bingo as in that’s exactly right, not Bingo the casino game...)

4

Stuck in the Middle

Like many middle powers that used to be able to depend on the United States, Canada finds itself looking to establish its place in the new world order. There will be political challenges. There will also be challenges from Mother Nature. NYT (Gift Article): In Canada’s Frozen North, With Canada’s Frozen Soldiers. “Canada’s military ambitions in the Arctic hinged on a frozen door that wouldn’t open ... ‘It’s frozen,’ said an air force detachment commander, ‘frozen shut.’ That left the force’s Chinook helicopter out in the cold. As Canada’s armed forces launched their biggest-ever Arctic exercise, soldiers blasted mobile heaters in an effort to open the hangar door and haul in the Chinook, which had been grounded by a mechanical problem and the extreme temperatures.” (It might be faster just to wait for climate change to open the door...)

5

Extra, Extra

Prince Charming King? “In a series of conversations over the last week, Prince Mohammed has conveyed to Mr. Trump that he must press toward the destruction of Iran’s hard-line government, the people familiar with the conversations said. Prince Mohammed, the people familiar with the discussions said, has argued that Iran poses a long-term threat to the Gulf that can only be eliminated by getting rid of the government.” NYT (Gift Article): Saudi Leader Is Said to Push Trump to Continue Iran War in Recent Calls. Meanwhile, “Pakistan’s military leadership has been attempting to broker negotiations between the US and Iran, after the White House confirmed that Pakistan’s army chief, Asim Munir, had a call with Donald Trump on Sunday to discuss the conflict.” JD Vance is being floated as a lead negotiator. Here’s the latest from The Guardian.

+ Mullin Mulled Over: Markwayne Mullin confirmed as the next secretary of Homeland Security. (On the plus side, he’s almost certain not to be the worst person ever to hold that job.)

+ Moonstruck: “NASA plans to invest $20 billion over the next seven years to develop a base on the surface of the moon, the latest major strategy shakeup aimed at enabling humans to live on the lunar surface long-term.” (That sounds like too much money to spend, unless we all get to decide who to send there first.)

+ Cheet Sheet: Can an entire political movement be summed up in one headline? Probably not, but we can try. Trump, Who Calls Mail-in Voting ‘Cheating,’ Just Voted by Mail.

+ Betrayed: “Mohammad Nazeer Paktiawal, 41, who was known to his family and friends as Nazeer, served alongside U.S. Army Special Forces in Paktika province – one of the most dangerous in Afghanistan – starting in 2005 ... He and his family were evacuated when the pro-U.S. government in Kabul fell to the Taliban in 2021.” How an Afghan man who aided U.S. military forces died in ICE custody in Texas. And from Pro Publica: Trump Has Detained the Parents of More Than 11,000 U.S. Citizen Kids. (Feel safer?)

+ Foul Wind: “French energy company TotalEnergies has agreed to abandon two Atlantic offshore wind projects after the Trump administration offered to buy out its federal leases for close to $1 billion, with the money to be redirected into fossil fuel development.”

+ Cold Reception: “Americans have learned to live with ads on smartphones and other devices as a necessary trade-off of connectivity. They’ve also gotten used to growing intrusions in the physical world, where everything from bathroom stalls to taxicab seats have become fair game for marketers. But the kitchen remained largely off-limits.” Until now. Ads Are Popping Up on the Fridge and It Isn’t Going Over Well.

6

Bottom of the News

“A Maryland man who made history as the first quadruple amputee to compete in the professional, televised American Cornhole League has been arrested on suspicion of shooting and killing a passenger in his car during an argument.”