A Guy Walks Into a Barcode

UPC at 50, Sidelined Coaches, Resurrecting George Carlin?

In the last few decades, we've seen plenty of technologies go from the back of a napkin to total ubiquity. And perhaps none of those technologies is more prevalent than the humble UPC—the Universal Bar Product Code (better known by its informal sobriquet: The Bar Code). "In this half century, the barcode has become the plumbing of global capitalism—revolutionary, pervasive, forgettable. More kinds of scannable codes have arrived since the ’70s, but the linear UPC barcode is on the packaging of most consumer products you get from every store, grocery or otherwise, brick-and-mortar or online. It is among the greatest, most consequential inventions in American history. How did we get stadium-size supermarkets, Costcos, and Amazon? ... Barcodes are on books, TVs, wine bottles, spatulas, and underwear. There are barcode tattoos, barcode conspiracy theories, barcode presidential scandals, and buildings on four continents designed to resemble barcodes." But will the bar code maintain its position atop (or a bottom) the world's packages, or will the late blooming QR code or some other young upstart take its place? Fifty years after its first commercial use on a pack of Juicy Fruit Gum, Saahil Desai offers today's best article the topic, bar none, in The Atlantic (Gift Article): The Barcode Engineered Its Own Downfall.

+ The Conversation: How we almost ended up with a bull’s-eye bar code. (Would've been huge for Target.)

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Sidelined

The day after the pro football season ends is known as Black Monday, because it's the day many coaches are fired. This year, in college and professional football, Wednesday was a hell of a lot more eventful than Monday, as three football giants stepped down (or were removed) from their posts. The coach motel is the opposite of the roach motel. You check in, and no matter how good you are, you eventually check out. Nick Saban announced his retirement from Alabama. "Nick Saban was college football for nearly two decades. Either he was winning it or you had to go through him to win it. There were no shortcuts. He was going to be there." He went out still near the top and as arguably the greatest college football coach ever. Pete Carroll, one of only three coaches to win a college national title and a Super Bowl, has chewed his last case of gum on the sidelines for the Seattle Seahawks. Pete Carroll Was Seahawks Football. Now the Team Has to Find What’s Next. And, after a horrendous year (and few pretty bad ones), Bill Belichick is leaving Patriots after 24 seasons and six titles. There is a lot of speculation about which team might try to hire Belichick now. After seeing him being remarkably verbose (and wearing a dated Navy football helmet) on College Gameday last month, I have a feeling the most curt interviewee in sports history will end up being a TV commentator. Who knows? Maybe he'll get into the internet business. He's already got the wardrobe. NYT: The End of the Bill Belichick Hoodie Era.

+ Here's a photo of Saban and Belichick hugging on the sidelineswhen they both coached the Browns. It was probably the only time they both smiled during the same week. Well, maybe there were a few more in their documentary, Belichick and Saban, The Art of Coaching, available on Max and many other services.

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If Looks Could Killjoy

"We often hear about the latest engagement hacks on other platforms like Instagram, TikTok, or X, formerly known as Twitter. But Google is consequential above all of these, acting essentially as the referee of the web." The Verge: How the internet reshaped itself around Google’s search algorithms — and into a world where websites look the same. (And soon, AI will reshape everything all over again.)

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Furious George

"Humans are so afraid of the void that we can’t let what has fallen into it stay there. Here’s an idea, how about we give some actual living human comedians a listen to? But if you want to listen to the genuine George Carlin, he has 14 specials that you can find anywhere." His daughter is justifiably unhappy that George Carlin is coming back to life in new AI-generated comedy special. (The real George Carlin may come back from the dead just so he can direct seven dirty words at the people who created this.)

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Extra, Extra

Maudlin Fraudlin: "'This is a fraud on me. What’s happened here, Sir, is a fraud on me,' Trump said. He later accused the judge of not listening to him. 'I know this is boring to you.'" (It's been boring the hell out of the rest of us for a very long time.) Donald Trump defies judge, gives courtroom speech on tense final day of New York civil fraud trial. (Yelling at a judge who will decide your monetary penalties is not a good idea. Trump is going to lose every case. If he loses the election, he is doomed. If he doesn't, we are.) In what could sadly be a foreshadowing for the year to come, there was a bomb threat on the home of the judge ahead of closing arguments.

+ Shipping Lane Change: "United Kingdom Maritime Trade Operations said earlier that a vessel in the Gulf of Oman had been boarded early Thursday by at least four armed people and had diverted course toward Iranian territorial waters." Iran seizes oil tanker in Gulf of Oman.

+ Israelly? I've been plenty critical of Israel's actions in Gaza, but it's noteworthy that while the UN seems cool with Iran's proxies targeting civilians and Hamas' October 7th attack, it's Israel that is currently being investigated for genocide in the UN. Meanwhile, Sunday will mark 100 days in captivity for the hostages, and their families are understandably feeling urgent. Relatives use giant loudspeakers to shout messages to Gaza, in hope hostages can hear.

+ Waste Case: "Reported levels of the virus in U.S. wastewater are higher than they have been since the first omicron wave, according to data from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, though severe outcomes still remain rarer than in earlier pandemic winters." You don't want to think about it anymore. I don't want to think about it anymore. And back in March of 2020, none of us would've believed this crap would still be having a massive impact. NYT (Gift Article): We Are in a Big COVID Wave. But Just How Big?

+ A Blocked Bridge to Nowhere: "Christie did not endorse another candidate at the time of his announcement but he did pledge to ensure that 'in no way do I enable Donald Trump to ever be president of the United States again. And that's more important than my own personal ambition.'" Vocal anti-Trump candidate Chris Christie exits presidential race with hot mic moment. (When you have party in which Chris Christie is considered too upstanding…)

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Bottom of the News

"A Calvin Klein advertisement featuring British musician FKA twigs has been banned in the U.K. by the Advertising Standards Authority (ASA) for depicting the artist as a 'stereotypical sexual object.'" This is particularly notable given that the enthusiasm for Jeremy Allen White's ripped-ab underwear spread for the same brand has been thirsty to the point of dehydration. Which brings us to this from McSweeney's: An Open Letter to Jeremy Allen White Regarding His Recent Calvin Klein Ad. "If we’re being honest, the sight of your perfect three-quarter-size body in those iconic tighty-whiteys has the ironic effect of making us consider the erotic possibilities awarded by, say, Cousin. What a gorgeous mess that guy is! He would never make us feel bad about having visible hemorrhoids and laugh lines that get accentuated by our O-faces. We bet he smells like smoke and whiskey and maybe a little Drakkar Noir, and that’s the smell of where we belong."

+ WSJ (Gift Article): Feds to Highway Signs: You Have Two Years to Stop Being Funny. Twitter is no longer Twitter, but everything else still is.