Fall of the Romaine Empire

Truss Out, History's Biggest Wave

Last week, a British tabloid began live-streaming a head of lettuce. The challenge was to see which would last longer, the green vegetable or the tenure of British Prime minister Liz Truss. The head of lettuce outlasted the head of government as Truss's economic plan drove her tenure into a deadly iceberg. In short, her salad was tossed. BBC: "Prime Minister Liz Truss resigns as UK prime minister and leader of the Conservative Party. Speaking outside Downing Street, she said she could not deliver the mandate on which she was elected." After only six weeks in office, she could barely deliver the mandate of changing the bedroom set at 10 Downing. This story seems like a litte gem to you, but it's a brutal dressing down for Truss who experienced history's quickest fall of Caesar. I guess now she goes back to being arugula citizen.

+ The only thing shorter than the Truss tenure was her resignation speech.

+ Yesterday, Conservative politician Charles Walker voiced his frustrations with his party and you want to watch it. Americans might be able to relate. "I've had enough of talentless people."

+ What Happened With Liz Truss in Britain? A Guide to the Basics. She was quickly undone by a poorly received economic plan. Luckily, her personal economic plan worked out a little better. After just 44 days in office, she's is eligible to collect a £115,000 a year for the rest of her life. That's a lot of lettuce.

2. Riding Giants

A few readers have emailed to complain about all the bad news these days. So let's change things up and focus on some bad news from the past. Thankfully, the old bad news puts the new bad news into perspective. WaPo (Gift Article): Asteroid that wiped out dinosaurs triggered ‘megatsunami,’ with mile-high waves. "After the first 10 minutes post-impact, all of the airborne debris associated with the asteroid stopped falling into the Gulf and displacing water ... That’s around the time the tsunami began racing across the ocean at the speed of a commercial jetliner." But this was no ordinary tsunami. I'm not even sure extraordinary quite describes it. One expert "compared the episode to the infamous Sumatra Tsunami in 2004 that followed a magnitude 9.2 earthquake on the west coast of northern Sumatra. More than 200,000 people perished. The megatsunami more than 60 million years ago had 30,000 times more energy than what occurred in 2004." While you're trying to picture the unimaginable, big wave surfers are kicking themselves for missing the stoke.

3. Ballgame of Thrones

"Advocates of the theory argue that neither the state courts nor the state constitutions have the power to rein in the state legislatures. If a state legislature deems a Presidential election flawed, they have the right to unilaterally overturn the popular vote in the state and award its Electoral College votes to the candidate of their choice. If the Supreme Court were to fully embrace the most radical form of the independent-state-legislature theory, it would shift power over federal elections to partisan majorities in the state legislatures." In other words, this Supreme Court case is a really big deal in an era of really big cases. That explains why the opposition is made of up some strange bedfellows. Jane Mayer in The New Yorker: The Conservative Stalwart Challenging the Far-Right Legal Theory That Could Subvert American Democracy. J. Michael Luttig "told me that he signed on as Katyal’s co-counsel because he regards Moore v. Harper as 'without question the most significant case in the history of our nation for American democracy.' Putting it more colloquially, he said, 'Legally, it’s the whole ballgame.'"

4. Austin Powers

"With the knock, Austin became the first player in MLB history to record an RBI off his brother in the playoffs. And he wasn't done. His RBI opened the floodgates in a five-run inning that led to an early exit for Aaron." The San Diego Nola got the better of the Philadelphia Nola, which makes sense since the latter plays for the city of brotherly love. Playoff baseball is a beautiful thing.

5. Extra, Extra

The Big Lie With Reinforcements: "Nevada businessman Robert Beadles whipped up outrage against the local voting registrar. She says she quit in fear for her family’s safety. Their stories illustrate a nationwide effort by Trump allies to drive election administrators from office over false vote-rigging claims." This stuff is remarkably dangerous. Reuters: Pro-Trump conspiracy theorists hound election officials out of office. Meanwhile, a judge has found evidence that Trump allegedly engaged in 'conspiracy to defraud' US, knew fraud claim was wrong. I'm sure the punishment is coming any second now.

+ Freedom Rings for Whom the Bell Tolls: "We’re Republicans, and 100 percent believe that it’s each individual’s choice — their freedom ... We decided to err on the side of not doing it and accept the consequences. And now, here we are in the middle of planning the funeral." WaPo: Whites now more likely to die from covid than Blacks: Why the pandemic shifted. (You know why.)

+ Father of the Clyde: "The first attack came in September 2017, when a man approached Zottola, whom the authorities described as a Mafia associate, outside his Bronx home and knocked him down with a punch in the face. That November, someone tried to shoot Zottola as he drove on the Throgs Neck Expressway. Two days after Christmas, men lurking inside his home stabbed him in the neck. In summer 2018, a man walked up on the sidewalk, pointed a pistol at him and pulled the trigger only for the weapon to misfire." A Mobster Dodged Hit After Hit. His Son Finally Got Him. (And I thought the story about one brother getting a base hit off the other brother was harsh...)

+ The Candy Man Can of Worms: Authorities seize thousands of suspected fentanyl pills hidden at Los Angeles airport. "It was discovered that inside the 'Sweetarts', 'Skittles', and 'Whoppers' candy boxes were fentanyl pills." Just in time for a Halloween conspiracy theory...

+ Paddling a Resume: "A flight attendant on a recent trip to California begged for a selfie. A woman in Las Vegas chased her down the Strip with a camera in hand. At tournaments, fans push their babies in Anna Leigh's arms for a quick photograph. 'The first time I was like, I've never even held a baby before,' she said with a laugh." Meet the teen queen of professional pickleball.

6. Bottom of the News

"Halifax based satire show Canadian Politics Is Boring is experimenting with digital scarcity by embracing analogue scarcity, releasing a special episode on audio cassette. The episode ‘An Incomplete History of The Hudson Bay Company’ will only exist as 50 cassettes." Fun idea but the vinyl version sounds way better.

+ "A Massachusetts woman is facing multiple assault and battery charges for allegedly releasing a swarm of bees on a group of sheriff’s deputies, some of them allergic to bee stings, as they tried to serve an eviction notice." She entered a plea of not guilty even though she was arrested wearing a beekeeping suit.

+ 16 carats?! Secret trap doors? Everything you need to know about the Warriors' championship rings.

+ The 2022 Comedy Wildlife Photo finalists. Amazing.