Let's Blow This Taco Stand

Taco Thursday, Harvard Yardline

By the time a court blocked President Donald Trump from imposing sweeping tariffs on imports under an emergency-powers law, a meme had already taken hold among Wall Streeters and made its way to a presidential press conference. "The TACO trade, short for Trump Always Chickens Out, is a tongue-in-cheek term coined by the Financial Times columnist Robert Armstrong. It has been adopted by some analysts and commentators to describe the potentially lucrative pattern in which markets tumble after Mr. Trump makes tariff threats, only to rebound sharply when he relents and allows countries more time to negotiate deals." While the TACO acronym might ring muy verdad, this issue never should have made it to the courts. Liberation Day only turned into Litigation Day because the legislative branch failed to stand up to a rogue president by claiming its unique role when it comes to imposing tariffs. The law on this matter really couldn't be more clear, so why have legislators failed to stand up for themselves or the country? Let's call it what it is: Congress Has Acquiesced Like Unbelievably Pathetic A**holes. Or it you prefer the acronym: CHALUPA.

+ TNR: A Trade Court Stopped Trump’s Tariffs. Why Didn’t Congress? "None of this should have required this court to step in and save the day. The ersatz national emergency that Trump cooked up as justification for his revenue-hungry tariffs ought to have been put to rest by means of a congressional joint resolution. Before Trump, no president had ever claimed [International Emergency Economic Powers Act] authority to impose a tariff. But today’s Republican-controlled Congress is James Madison’s worst nightmare, too frozen by terror of a vindictive chief executive to check his power."

+ QZ: The trade war enters a new phase: What to watch over the next 10 days. Forget the next 10 days. Let's focus on the next 10 minutes. An appeals court has already paused the trade court's ruling and we should hear from SCOTUS on the matter soon.

2

Kidnapped

"The people languishing in this modern-day gulag – mapped by matching first-hand accounts with satellite imagery, cellphone data and other open-source material – aren’t the Soviet dissidents of the last century that Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn wrote about in The Gulag Archipelago. They are Ukrainian children, abducted from their homes and families over the course of Russia’s war to destroy Ukraine." The Globe and Mail: The Children’s Gulag.

3

Harvard Yardline

For now, a judge has blocked the Trump administration's effort to bar Harvard from enrolling international students. The ruling offers a nice reprieve on Harvard's Commencement Day, but the battle is likely just beginning. And no matter how it turns out, the administration has done severe damage to America's brand when it comes to attracting the best and brightest from around the world.

+ It's not just universities, America's brand as a destination has been damaged, and we're only a few months into the new administration. "European airlines are freezing their transatlantic growth and pulling back from major U.S. cities like New York, Miami, Los Angeles, and Chicago as they redirect flights to Canada, Mexico, Brazil and Caribbean, where bookings are rising and demand is outpacing the American market."

+ Meanwhile, Benjamin Wittes responds to the notion that any of the attacks on Harvard and higher ed have to do with protecting Jews from antisemitism. "There is only one system that has ever truly protected Jews over time, and that is liberalism. And American liberalism is the only version that has ever done it at scale—which is to say more than 10 times the scale of any other non-Jewish country. The reason? Jews don’t rely on some liege lord’s 'protection.' We rely on a system of rights and limits on government power that protect everyone." Thanks but No Thanks. "There will come a Pharaoh who knows not the Kushners ... The lesson is not to stay in Pharaoh’s good graces and enjoy it while he screws your enemies. The lesson is that Pharaohs suck and Jews shouldn’t live in societies ruled by them."

4

Wipe Out

"In 1982, a peculiar commercial aired on televisions across Japan. An actress in a pink floral dress and an updo drops paint on her hand and futilely attempts to wipe it off with toilet paper. She looks into the camera and asks: 'Everyone, if your hands get dirty, you wash them, right?' 'It’s the same for your bottom,' she continues. 'Bottoms deserve to be washed, too.' The commercial was advertising the Washlet, a new type of toilet seat with a then-unheard-of function: a small wand that extended from the back of the rim and sprayed water up. After its release, Toto, the Washlet’s maker, was deluged with calls and letters from viewers shocked by the concept. They were also angry that it was broadcast during evening prime time, when many were sitting down for dinner." Well, they got over the shock and anger and their bottoms are all the better for it. "Washlet-style bidets, sold by Toto and a few smaller rivals, are a common feature in Japan’s offices and public restrooms and account for more than 80 percent of all household toilets." Is the magic water wand finally catching on America. You bet your ass it is. NYT (Gift Article): The Rise of the Japanese Toilet. "Toto is selling more bidets in the United States. Toto’s president says not even tariffs will halt its advance." (The article mentions a few celebrities and influencers, but it's a safe bet that none of them has done as much to spread the Toto gospel as Howard Stern. He's been consistently describing his use of the product in extremely specific terms for years.)

5

Extra, Extra

Moving Companies: "China’s mass detention and surveillance of ethnic Uyghurs turned its far western region of Xinjiang into a global symbol of forced labor and human rights abuses, prompting Congress to ban imports from the area in 2021." What did China do then? They moved the Uyghurs. NYT (Gift Article): Far From Home: Uyghur Workers in Factories Supplying Global Brands. (Reminder: It's not that we don't need tougher standards and deals when it comes to trading with China. It's that our current efforts are counter-productive.)

+ Clean and Jerk: "More than $14 billion in clean energy investments in the U.S. have been canceled or delayed this year, according to an analysis released Thursday, as President Donald Trump’s pending megabill has raised fears over the future of domestic battery, electric vehicle and solar and wind energy development." (Even if you don't care about climate issues, that's a lot of spending and jobs down the tubes.)

+ What Elon Strange Trip It's Been: Elon Musk’s official role within the United States government is coming to an end. A breakup was inevitable. But much of the analysis I see of the split reads more like an Elon press release, taking everything he says at face value, ignoring the heinous damage he’s done, and discounting the role his efforts to increase his stock price plays in all this spin. (And don't be too happy about the Schadenfreude. Elon leaves his government gig with many massive government deals and, despite the damage he's done to his brands, he's still more than twice as rich as the world's second richest person.)

+ RF KO: "The decision also forfeited the U.S. government’s right to purchase doses ahead of a pandemic, and canceled an agreement set up by the Biden administration in January to prepare the nation for a potential bird flu pandemic." U.S. Cancels Contract With Moderna to Develop Bird Flu Vaccine. (Relax, everyone. It's not like a deadly disease could mutate and spread from birds to humans and then require a remarkable vaccine to save millions of lives...)

+ Tough News to Swallow: It's a small study, but new research out of UCSF suggests that cannabis presents cardiovascular risks, even when its consumed via edibles.

+ Detached Reality: "A Swiss Alpine village was largely wiped out on Wednesday after a massive glacier carrying rock and debris detached and roared down the mountainside, destroying everything in its path." (The accompanying video is crazy.)

+ Field of Dreams: " Justin seems normal, too. He's 36, tall and slender, and wears a backward baseball cap most days that gives him the look of a slacker teen. But for a certain subset of people, Justin is far from a normal person." How to Become a Fantasy-Sports Millionaire.

6

Bottom of the News

"The creator of ‘The White Lotus’ is doing a second season of ‘Survivor.’ He’s also competed on ‘The Amazing Race’ — twice — and even appeared on an episode of ‘The Dog Whisperer.’" Mike White, the Guy Behind the Most Prestigious Prestige TV Series, Can’t Stop Doing Reality Shows.

+ Chinese paraglider survives accidental 8,000m-high flight. He got caught in something accurately described as a cloud suck. (Now I need a new phrase to describe my bong hits.)