A few weeks into the new Trump era, America has traded its soft power for a conspiracy theory about hard-ons. Surprise, surprise, "there’s no basis for the White House mythology that USAID is an enclave of woke waste, reflected in Trump’s claim that it spent about '$100 million on condoms to Hamas' (he doubled his previous claim of $50 million). Hmm. Male condoms cost the U.S. government 3.3 cents each, so that would be three billion condoms. By my calculation, for Hamas to use up that many condoms in a year, each fighter would have to have sex 325 times a day, every day. That might wipe out Hamas as a fighting force more effectively than Israeli bombardment." Yes, the condom conspiracy theory is a stupid and obvious lie. But stupid and obvious lies have been pretty effective when it comes to distracting people from the real damage being done. Here's an analysis that's closer to the truth from Nick Kristof in the NYT(Gift Article): The World’s Richest Men Take On the World’s Poorest Children. "By my calculations, Elon Musk probably has a net worth greater than that of the poorest billion people on Earth. Just since Donald Trump’s election, Musk’s personal net worth has grown by far more than the entire annual budget of U.S.A.I.D., which in any case accounts for less than 1 percent of the federal budget. It’s callous for gleeful billionaires like Musk and President Trump to cut children off from medicine, but, as President John F. Kennedy pointed out when he proposed the creation of the agency in 1961, it’s also myopic. Cutting aid, Kennedy noted, 'would be disastrous and, in the long run, more expensive.' He added: 'Our own security would be endangered and our prosperity imperiled.' Perhaps that’s why Russia has praised Trump’s move."
+ Of course, it's hardly just "Trump's move." Musk associates sought to use critical Treasury payment system to shut down USAID spending.
+ "To be clear, very little if any of this is legal. The president cannot legally refuse to spend money that Congress has directed the government to spend ... But as lawbreaking goes, it may be a canny example. Foreign aid has never been popular, and while some of that is perhaps due to misunderstandings of what 'foreign aid' means, most Americans just generally don’t like helping people in other countries ... But amid a spree of groundless and deranged insinuations from Musk that the agency is little more than a pit of corruption, it’s important to remember the extremely important work the agency does (or did)." Dylan Matthews in Vox: The worst thing Trump has done so far. Neither of these articles argues that USAID is perfect or that there are not areas where money could be saved. But that's not what cutting it is about. And that's not what the whole DOGE movement is about. The blatant lie behind Elon Musk’s power grab.
+ How the USAID collapse helps Putin.
+ "USAID oversees projects such as food aid, disaster relief and health programs in over 100 countries with a staff of more than 10,000 and a budget of around $40 billion. Billions of those dollars flowed back into the American economy." WaPo (Gift Article): Gutting USAID threatens billions of dollars for U.S. farms, businesses.
+ Of course, USAID is only one area where Musk is running his Coup d' IT. And he has been given free rein for his reign. The White House Press Secretary explained how conflicts of interest will be handled. "If Elon Musk comes across a conflict of interest with the contracts and the funding that DOGE is overseeing, Elon will excuse himself from those contracts." Excuse me, but that sounds like a pile of Doge Doo.
2
Trump Plaza in Gaza
The administration seemed to back-off Trump's shocking plan for the US to own and develop Gaza once Palestinians are displaced. But Trump himself hasn't. Trump says Israel would hand Gaza to US when war ends, no American troops needed there. "The US, working with great development teams from all over the world, would slowly and carefully begin the construction of what would become one of the greatest and most spectacular developments of its kind on Earth." (Pretty sure he said the same thing about about the Trump Taj Mahal casino in Atlantic City...)
+ Here's the latest from The Guardian.
+ "Fifty years before President Donald Trump proposed that the U.S. should take over Gaza, Saturday Night Live — in its very first episode on Oct. 11, 1975 — introduced a land swap solution to Middle East peace: The state of Israel and the state of Georgia could switch places." (If nothing else, it would shorten the trip to get decent hummus and would help make sense of Herschel Walker's first name...)
3
AG Me With A Spoon
"To free resources to address more pressing priorities, and end risks of further weaponization and abuses of prosecutorial discretion, the Foreign Influence Task Force shall be disbanded." And with that, our new AG Pam Bondi just shuttered the specialized FBI team combating foreign election interference threats.
4
Cooler Heads Prevail
"New York Giants coach Bill Parcells wanted to make an example out of nose tackle Jim Burt ... The next day, Burt issued a warning. He told Parcells if they beat Washington, he was going to get the coach back. At the end of the game, Burt grabbed one of the Gatorade coolers on the sideline. He walked over to Parcells, hoisted the cooler, turned it upside down and doused Parcells with the sports drink. Burt put the cooler completely over Parcells' head, so it looked like he was wearing it. And a tradition was born." Super Bowl Gatorade shower: history, disputes and color odds.
+ It's not just Gatorade. You can bet on Tom Brady's tie color, too. The Most Fun Prop Bets to Make for Super Bowl LIX.
5
Extra, Extra
Punching Down: "Recently, NCAA President Charlie Baker testified that there are fewer than 10 transgender athletes out of 530,000 who participate in college athletics. But with his latest executive order, the commander in chief makes it clear he wants all six or eight of them under his Brioni heel." Sally Jenkins in WaPo (Gift Article): Ban on trans athletes seeks to demonize, not protect.
+ Block or Charge: "A federal judge on Thursday temporarily blocked President Donald Trump’s plan to push out federal workers by offering them financial incentives, the latest twist in a chaotic and distressing saga playing out for millions of government employees." (It's going to be a busy time for federal judges...)
+ The Artifice of the Deal: "The United States has suspended its threats against Canada and Mexico in return for border-enforcement measures that Canada and Mexico either were doing anyway or had done before without making much difference in the flow of drugs." The Atlantic (Gift Article): How Trump Lost His Trade War. "Mexico and Canada have oriented their economies to the U.S. under first NAFTA and then USMCA. That probably will not alter even after Trump’s episode of blackmail. But other countries, farther away, may wonder whether there’s any point in signing deals with such a bad-faith partner as the United States has become."
+ Now Ear This: "Our distant ancestors had several body parts that have become fairly useless over the course of evolution–our wisdom teeth, the tails that are present during the sixth week of gestation, and the auricular muscles in our ears. The auricular muscles helped change the shape of the shell–or pinna–of the ear and helped humans living millions of years ago listen closely. They are still used by roughly 10 to 20 percent of people with the fun ability to wiggle their ears." Most humans haven’t moved these muscles in 25 million years. (OK, so something that's been going on for 25 million years isn't exactly breaking news. But it's not Trump news, and that's hard to find these days...)
+ Perez Dispenser: "Less than two weeks ago, the movie was flying high, with 13 Academy Award nods. Then came a social media scandal and a serious backlash." The rise and fall of Emilia Pérez: how did it all go so wrong for the Oscar-nominated film and its star? (Everything is political.)
+ Zyn for the Win: Philip Morris’s stock touches record high as outlook tops Wall Street estimates. (What comes around stays around...)
+ Nothing to Sniff At: "If you want peace, you have to dismantle the business (of drug trafficking) ... It could easily be dismantled if they legalize cocaine in the world. It would be sold like wine." Colombian president says cocaine 'no worse than whisky.' (At this point, I could use a side order of both.)
6
Bottom of the News
"Police in Pennsylvania are hunting for thieves who stole 100,000 eggs from the back of a trailer, amid a US-wide spike in the price of eggs that has triggered panic-buying in some shops."
+ Scientists crack what they say is the perfect way to boil an egg.
Love your news. Thanks for what you do!
Dave, long time reader/subscriber, and now catching everything you post here on Substack. Your missive on the news of the day is what I read as I enjoy my happy hour beverage with a back drop of jazz on the sound system. The best part of seeing the serious side of what is happening is the way you couch things in a layer of . . . whimsy, comedy . . . Something that is hard to describe but takes a bit of the edge off. Keep doing what you do. Your contribution is important and valued, certainly by this, your loyal reader.