Screwing the Fauooch

Fauci's Fifth, Guilty of Phone Erasing

The latest pandemic is here. The condition seems permanent and the symptoms include lying, grandstanding, soul-selling, self-serving, sycophancy, unctuousness, a frustration that RFK Jr doesn’t seem crazy enough, a willful ignorance that deepens over time, and the appearance that one is stuck in a timeloop in which the year is always 2020. It’s hard to pinpoint the origins of the disease (lab leak or flab leak), but by now, its orange-ins are well established. Armchair scientists doing their own research have verified that the zoonotic plague was first transmitted from the Narcissista Malignus to (sad excuses for) humans via lips to ass contact, but forget about not touching, wearing masks, full body Purell soaks, or wiping down your Amazon boxes, the pathogen is now so wildly infectious that it can be spread over the air or even over the airwaves. Hydroxychloroquine, Ivermectin, UV light, and disinfectant injections have proven more harmful than beneficial, yet they—along with a limited edition commemorative coin—are available to anyone who wants to risk their life (or feel more connected to the Joe Rogan podcast). Just send a self-addressed stamped envelope, along with a large sack of crypto for deposit to World Liberty Financial, to 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue. Some experts contend that the combination of honesty and critical thinking can cure the sickness, but so far, no one who has it has been willing to try. For those fortunately immune and merely witnessing the disease, Tylenol can address some of the symptoms (if you’re crazy enough to take Tylenol!)

+ The disease was on full display during a showboating Senate hearing in which Anthony Fauci in particular, and science in general, were attacked relentlessly. Fauci, “who spent nearly four decades as the government’s top infectious disease expert, refused on Wednesday to answer any questions from a Senate committee investigating the origins of Covid-19. Dr. Fauci accused the committee’s Republican chairman, Rand Paul, of having an ‘unhinged obsession with me,’ before repeatedly invoking his Fifth Amendment right not to incriminate himself.” While Fauci didn’t answer any questions, he did provide an opening statement that included this: “Given Senator Paul’s obvious obsession with calling for my prosecution, his repeated slanderous comments about me, and recently his publicly releasing my unredacted personal diary aimed at embarrassing and intimidating me, the only conclusion I can reach is that the sole reason he is calling me before this committee is to get me to say something that could vindicate his repeated public pledges that I end up, in his words, ‘behind bars.’” After being subjected to today’s hearings, he (and the rest of us) may have preferred the behind bars option. NYT (Gift Article): Fauci Repeatedly Refuses to Answer Senators’ Questions at Volatile Hearing. (Someone should go back and research who was president back then, and let Fauci talk all that science stuff.)

+ Senator Bernie Moreno asked Fauci: “Who the f-ck did you think you were?” (A puff of orange concealer came out of his mouth when he asked that question.)

+ Katherine J Wu in The Atlantic (Gift Article): The Unmaking of Anthony Fauci. “For decades, he has been one of the nation’s best-known and most-respected scientists. In the late 1960s, Fauci helped lead a team at the National Institutes of Health that repurposed cancer therapies as cures for several once-fatal rheumatological conditions. His later partnerships with AIDS activists and his push to accelerate experimental-drug trials for HIV helped transform the infection into a survivable condition. He went on to serve as a chief architect of PEPFAR, a global HIV-prevention-and-care program that has prevented an estimated 25 million deaths since 2003.” (So, obviously, he must be stopped.)

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A Breachable Moment

The war with Iran is not going well. But it is a teachable moment for the American military (and those of other superpowers). Times, and technology, have changed. Marc Champion in Bloomberg (Gift Article): A Misdiagnosis of US Failings Leaves Trump Stuck in Iran. “The US is failing and is likely to go on failing in Iran because technology has changed the nature of war and, with it, the balance between greater and lesser powers. Trump’s belief in the omnipotence of the US military is simply out of date. As Robert A. Pape, a University of Chicago professor ... argues in a Foreign Affairs magazine article published last week, the same globalized economy that America’s post-Cold-War dominance made possible since 1991 has also democratized the spread of new technologies of war — from satellite imaging to chips and drones.”

+ “American and Saudi fighter jets attacked Iranian-linked militias and their Iranian advisers in Iraq on Wednesday, and Iran fired missiles at military bases in Jordan. It ended a dayslong pause in direct fighting between the United States and Iran and further widened the scope of the war.” Here’s the latest.

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Erase to the Bottom

“It sounds like something James Bond would use: a gadget that self-destructs if it falls into the wrong hands. But it’s actually an open-source operating system that can be downloaded onto Android phones. Federal prosecutors in Atlanta are bringing an obstruction charge against a U.S. citizen who gave customs officers what is known as a duress passcode, which activated software that erased the contents of his phone.” NYT (Gift Article): A U.S. Citizen Deleted His Phone’s Data. Now He Faces a Felony Charge.

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Land Minecraft

“The game’s open-ended design and building tools allow players to reimagine real-life spaces like abandoned riverbanks, dark alleys and dump sites, making it one of the main tools used to involve citizens, especially youth, in redesigning urban areas.” Minecraft Is Helping Kids Redesign Their Cities. (Now, if the adults would just stop blowing them up...)

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Extra, Extra

A Shock to the System: Not everyone is against the AI boom and the data center buildout. And not everyone is worried about job losses. For some, the boom is a boon. A.I. Companies Are Recruiting Electricians and Carpenters by the Thousands. Meanwhile, back at the office... Mark Zuckerberg Blasts Centralization of A.I. Power. (Yeah, I mean, we wouldn’t want too much tech power in the hands of someone we don’t trust. Thanks for bringing that up, Zuck.)

+ From Worse to Bad: “The Senate confirmed Jay Clayton, the U.S. attorney in Manhattan, on Tuesday to oversee the nation’s intelligence agencies, installing a longtime ally of the president into a top national security post that has waned in significance during the second Trump administration.” (Clayton doesn’t have the required experience, nor was he willing to answer honestly about the 2020 election, but even Dems are relieved that the guy he’s taking over for will be out.)

+ Life in Shell: “The disclosure, included in internal government documents turned over to Mr. Comey, is one of the most glaring examples to date of the degree to which Mr. Trump now directs federal law enforcement actions. The records suggest his intense personal involvement in investigating his longtime nemesis and a sharp break from past practice in which the president remained removed from criminal inquiries.” Trump Demanded Details of Agents’ Interview of Comey, New Filing Says.

+ My Bad: Tales of poor leadership are in full display these days. Here’s an example of good leadership. 49ers coach Kyle Shanahan was in a serious car accident that left him with broken bones, stitches, and a concussion. When journalists started digging for details, they reported that the accident was the fault of the other driver involved in the crash. Shanahan, who hadn’t spoken to the press yet, immediately gathered reporters to set the record straight. “’I hit her,’ an emotional Shanahan said. ‘I don’t know why it was reported (the other) way.’”

+ Mitch, Please: “In the letter, Beshear called on the 84-year-old to ‘directly and verbally address the people of Kentucky and provide proof of your capacity to serve, or resign.’” Kentucky Governor to McConnell: Prove Fitness to Serve or Resign. (McConnell would have had McConnell kicked to the curb like three weeks ago.)

+ Glen Hansard: “Glen Hansard, a singer-songwriter who was the frontman of the popular Irish band the Frames and who shared an Oscar for ‘Falling Slowly,’ a wistful song from the 2006 film ‘Once,’ died in a motorcycle accident on Wednesday in Dublin. He was 56.”

+ Vend Times: “Finding a snack-filled vending machine when you have the munchies may feel like a religious experience, but that’s nothing compared to the world’s first vending machine — a first-century contraption that dispensed holy water. Since then, entrepreneurial souls have crammed machines full of everything from stamps and Tutti-Fruiti gum, to cigarettes and books, and, heck, even Ferraris.” The vending machine renaissance is here.

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Bottom of the News

“The female body ... has historically been an afterthought for longevity bros and the medical industry alike. Women were not even routinely included in medical research until the 1990s, and just uttering ‘vagina’ can still be a problem in some circles. The new enthusiasm for measuring and enhancing the vagina is a notable departure from that history—and predictably, sleek start-ups like Evvy, June Bio, Tiny Health, and Daye are rushing to offer direct-to-consumer test kits and coaching, while Evvy and Daye also offer probiotics and supplements that claim to optimize the vagina.” Vanity Fair: The Newest Status Symbol in Longevity Circles? A Top One Percent Vagina. (I suppose that’s one way to get people to stop complaining about the one percent...)