It's Time to Floor It

Cory Stands, Trump in Therapy

In normal times, I'd probably lead today's edition with some story that seemed like an April Fool's joke, but was actually a real story. The NFL owners butting heads over whether the Tush Push is ass backwards or a real kick in the pants would work. Maybe I'd offer up baseball's new and potentially controversial Torpedo bats as a kicker. But these aren't normal times, and I'm not just saying that because in the 2025 news cycle it's impossible to tell whether a headline is an April Fool's joke or not. At least one Democratic politician is reminding Americans that nothing about this is normal and we're in an emergency. Cory Booker has been holding the Senate floor since last night, delivering a marathon speech and says he "will speak for as long as I’m physically able to lift the voices of Americans who are being harmed and not being heard in this moment of crisis." At one point, Booker, who has been attacking the Musk/Trump policies, explained: "He promised to lower your grocery prices - they're higher. Over and over he's breaking promises and doing outrageous things like disappearing people off American streets. Do we see what's happening? How much is enough?" He's required to stand and take no bathroom breaks to maintain his hold of the floor. (Full disclosure: Cory Booker is a friend of mine, we're men of roughly the same age, and I've had to pee about 35 times since he started his speech.) Will this speech change everything? No. But we are desperate for leaders to remind us that this is all not OK, and more importantly, that people should have the guts to not sit by silently while it's happening. As of my writing, just after the 18 hour mark, he's still going.

+ NYT (Gift Article): Cory Booker Slams Trump’s Policies in Marathon Senate Floor Speech. "I rise with the intention of disrupting the normal business of the United States Senate for as long as I am physically able. I rise tonight because I believe sincerely that our nation is in crisis." In the words of Cory's fellow New Jerseyan, "Come on up for the rising. Come on up, lay your hands in mine."

+ Reminder: There's new gear (along with old favorites) in the NextDraft store. And this week, every time someone buys an item, I add $25 to the amount I'll personally donate to Protect Democracy. It's my way of following Cory Booker's lead, but with bathroom breaks.

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Admin Tools

Sadly, this lede is also not an April Fool's joke: "The Trump administration acknowledged in a court filing Monday that it had grabbed a Maryland father with protected legal status and mistakenly deported him to El Salvador, but said that U.S. courts lack jurisdiction to order his return from the megaprison where he’s now locked up." The Atlantic (Gift Article): An ‘Administrative Error’ Sends a Maryland Father to a Salvadoran Prison. From the man's attorney: "They claim that the court is powerless to order any relief. If that’s true, the immigration laws are meaningless—all of them—because the government can deport whoever they want, wherever they want, whenever they want, and no court can do anything about it once it’s done."

+ Jonathan Blitzer in The New Yorker: The Makeup Artist Donald Trump Deported Under the Alien Enemies Act.

+ "When the flight attendants joined GlobalX, it was a startup with big plans. It sold investors and new hires alike on a vision of VIP clients, including musicians and sports teams, and luxury destinations, especially in the Caribbean. 'You can’t beat the eXperience,' read a company tagline." (The eXperience changed.) ProPublica: Inside ICE Air: Flight Attendants on Deportation Planes Say Disaster Is Only a Matter of Time.

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Three Dimensional Chess

"To many viewers, these details spotlight a common experience: Sometimes you regress when you’re with the people you’ve known the longest. Being reminded of a long-tucked-away facet of your personality can be one of the upsides of long-term friendship. But old friends can also bring back long-abandoned self-doubt and unhealthy patterns that can leave you with that ick feeling.'" The tense relationship among three friends traveling together in this season's White Lotus is bringing up a lot of feelings for people (who somehow didn't get the memo that three is the most dangerous number for traveling). NYT: Why Old Friends Bring Out Our Worst Teenage Selves. (I've basically had the same friend group since elementary school. At some point we realized that what we all share in common is an inability to make new friends.)

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Shrink Rap

"For many Texas therapists, this isn’t a laughing matter. It’s reminiscent of real conversations they’ve had recently. Since Donald Trump retook the White House, crisis lines won’t stop ringing, clinicians’ calendars have been filled in like ballots, and long-term clients have eschewed unpacking domestic matters in favor of discussing the national news." Texas Monthly: You're Driving Your Therapists Mad Talking About Trump. (I used to talk about the news with my therapist in order to avoid talking about the deep, disturbing problems that haunt my unconscious. Now I talk about that stuff to avoid thinking about the news.)

Barry Blitt’s great cartoon.

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Extra, Extra

Ballot Boxing: "The first major elections of President Donald Trump’s second term will take place Tuesday as voters head to the polls in Wisconsin, a perennial battleground, and in Trump-friendly territory in Florida." What to watch as Wisconsin and Florida host the first major elections of Trump's second term.

+ Going Hungary: "Hungary is now one of the poorest countries, and possibly the poorest, in the European Union. Industrial production is falling year-over-year. Productivity is close to the lowest in the region. Unemployment is creeping upward. Despite the ruling party’s loud talk about traditional values, the population is shrinking. Perhaps that’s because young people don’t want to have children in a place where two-thirds of the citizens describe the national education system as “bad,” and where hospital departments are closing because so many doctors have moved abroad. Maybe talented people don’t want to stay in a country perceived as the most corrupt in the EU for three years in a row. Even the Index of Economic Freedom—which is published by the Heritage Foundation, the MAGA-affiliated think tank that produced Project 2025—puts Hungary at the bottom of the EU in its rankings of government integrity." Hungary is also the model being followed in America these days. Anne Applebaum in The Atlantic (Gift Article): America’s Future Is Hungary.

+ Luigi's Death Penalty Charge: Attorney General Pam Bondi said Tuesday the Justice Department will seek the death penalty for accused CEO killer Luigi Mangione. "The first-degree murder charge alleges he killed the executive 'in furtherance of an act of terrorism.'"

+ Rumor Mill: "'The only way I could describe it is it’s like you’re walking with your daughter on the street, holding her hand, and a car mirror snags her shirt and starts dragging her down the road. And all you can do is watch,' Cornett’s father, Justin, said. 'You can’t catch the car. You can’t stop it from happening. You just have to sit there and watch your kid be destroyed.'" The Athletic: ESPN’s Pat McAfee and others amplified a false rumor. A teenager’s life was ‘destroyed.' (We live in such a hateful moment.)

+ Healthcareless: Layoffs begin at US health agencies responsible for research, tracking disease and regulating food. (Oh, just that stuff...) And from Wired: The CDC Has Been Gutted.

+ Chips on the Table: The combination of the coming tariffs, a recent visit Asia by Pete Hegseth, and America's lack of support for Ukraine all make this is a very tense moment for Taiwan. Taiwan sees China’s military drills as a ‘signal’ to the US. WaPo: China targets Taiwan’s president with military drills and personal attacks. "One analyst called China’s large-scale drills a 'pre-invasion operation.'"

+ Going After The Mouse's Rabbit Ears: FCC chair threatens ABC’s broadcast license over Disney DEI practices.

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Bottom of the News

All April Fool's stories should have come to halt in 1985 when the best one of all time was published by George Plimpton in SI: The Curious Case Of Sidd Finch. The clue was right there in the first letter of each word of the sub-head: "He's a pitcher, part yogi and part recluse. Impressively liberated from our opulent life-style, Sidd's deciding about yoga—and his future in baseball."